Have you ever noticed that some of the most powerful spiritual disciplines are also some of the most misunderstood? Prayer. Worship. Sabbath. Giving.

And fasting.

For many believers, the word “fasting” immediately brings up images of extreme sacrifice: a 40-day fast, no food or water, something so difficult that it feels impossible for the average Christian to practice. And because we misunderstand it, many of us miss the gift God intended it to be.

Recently, I heard a phrase in a song that caught my attention: “The devil wants to extend the game: free throws.” That line made me think about basketball. A free throw is awarded after a foul. One team’s mistake gives the opposing team an opportunity to score. A free throw may only be worth one point, but one point can change the outcome of a game. A few seconds may seem insignificant, but those seconds matter when the clock is running down.

The enemy of our souls understands something important: he doesn’t always have to convince us to walk away from God. Sometimes, he only has to convince us to neglect the spiritual disciplines that keep us connected, strengthened, and spiritually alert.

Prayer becomes optional.

The Word gets pushed aside.

Worship becomes occasional.

And fasting? Many believers never even begin because they don’t understand what it is.

But fasting is not a burden. It is a gift.

What Is Fasting?

A fast is dedicating time to your relationship with God. A fast is a means of drawing closer to God. A fast is pushing away something that your flesh craves in order to embrace something that your spirit craves.

At its heart, it is about surrender.

It is choosing to say, “God, I want You more than I want this thing.”

Throughout Scripture, we see God’s people fasting during times of seeking, dependence, repentance, preparation, and prayer. Fasting creates space for us to quiet distractions and become more attentive to God.

Jesus modeled fasting during His time in the wilderness before beginning His earthly ministry. He did not fast because He was trying to earn the Father’s approval. He fasted as part of His dependence on the Father.

And when Jesus taught about spiritual disciplines in Matthew 6, notice His wording: “When you fast…” (Matthew 6:16)

Jesus did not say if. He said when.

Fasting was not presented as an extra-credit activity for the most spiritually mature believers. It was presented as a normal part of a disciple’s life.

What Fasting Is Not

One of the greatest obstacles to practicing fasting is misunderstanding what it is. Many people hear the word “fast” and immediately think: “I could never do that.”

But often, we have rejected something we have never truly understood. Fasting is not a way to manipulate God. Fasting does not force God to answer our prayers or make Him do what we want.

Fasting is not about controlling God—it is about surrendering ourselves to Him. It changes us. It positions our hearts to listen.

It reminds us that our deepest needs are ultimately met in Him.

Fasting is not a spiritual competition. A longer fast does not automatically make someone more spiritual. The goal is not to complete the most difficult fast or prove how disciplined we are.

The goal is intimacy with God.

A 40-day fast is not the standard every believer must achieve before fasting “counts.” Scripture contains many different examples of fasting for different purposes and seasons.

The question is not: “How extreme can I make this?”

The question is: “How can I intentionally seek God?”

Fasting is not about harming our bodies. God does not ask us to harm ourselves. Our bodies are gifts from Him, and we are called to steward them well.

Biblical fasting is not about punishment or self-destruction. It is about surrender and spiritual focus.

For some people, a traditional food fast may not be appropriate because of health considerations. That does not mean they cannot practice fasting. There are many ways to intentionally remove distractions and create space to seek God.

The heart behind the discipline matters.

Why Does the Enemy Want Us Confused About Fasting?

The enemy knows the power of spiritual disciplines. He knows that prayer strengthens us. He knows that the Word transforms us. He knows that worship redirects our hearts.

And he knows that fasting draws us closer to God.

When we misunderstand fasting, we often dismiss it before we ever experience the blessing of it. We convince ourselves:

“I don’t have time.”

“I’m not spiritual enough.”

“That’s only for certain people.”

“I could never do something like that.”

But God is not inviting us into this discipline because He wants to make our lives harder. He invites us into fasting because He wants to draw us closer.

Isaiah 58 gives us a beautiful picture of the kind of fast God desires. It is not merely about outward actions—it is about transformed hearts. God connects fasting with freedom, compassion, righteousness, healing, and His guidance.

A biblical fast is not simply about what we give up.

It is about Who we are making room for.

How Do We Begin?

If fasting is new to you, begin with prayer. Ask God:

“Is there something You are inviting me to surrender?”

“Is there something distracting me from seeking You?”

“How can I create more space for Your presence?”

Then, intentionally replace what you remove with time focused on God. If you remove a meal, use that time to pray. If you step away from a distraction, use that time to worship, read Scripture, or seek God.

The purpose of fasting is not simply subtraction. It is exchange. We are laying something down so we can receive something greater.

We are creating room for God.

A Final Invitation

Fasting is a powerful spiritual discipline, but it is often misunderstood. It is not about earning God’s love. It is not about proving our spirituality. It is not about achieving an impressive spiritual milestone.

It is about drawing closer to the One who already loves us.

If you want to learn more about this practice — including different types of fasts found throughout Scripture, why people fasted, and how to practically incorporate this discipline into your walk with God—I invite you to explore my Fasting e-Course available through Connect Mentoring Network. You can take the course on its own - or you can look into memberships and have access to a full library of resources!

My prayer is that fasting would not be something you fear or avoid, but a beautiful invitation to experience deeper intimacy with God. Thanks for connecting with me today - let's continue this conversation on the podcast on Thursday! Subscribe here so you don't miss a thing!

Yes, Jesus gets angry - but we’ve turned Jesus turning over the tables into a catchphrase.

“I’m about to flip some tables,” we joke when we’re frustrated, inconvenienced, or simply fed up. Somewhere along the way, Jesus’ actions in Mark 11 became a symbol for venting our own anger or justifying our emotional outbursts.

But that’s not what happened at all.

Jesus wasn’t having a bad day. He wasn’t losing His temper. His anger wasn’t misplaced, selfish, or fueled by wounded pride. It was righteous, purposeful, and deeply rooted in His love for the Father and His desire for people to encounter God without unnecessary barriers.

If we reduce this moment to a clever meme or a slogan about “flipping tables,” we risk missing the very reason Jesus overturned them in the first place. Jesus gets angry - but not without a greater purpose.

So before we focus on the tables He overturned, let’s focus on why He overturned them. As we do, we may not only gain a deeper understanding of Jesus’ heart—we may also discover something important about our own.

“On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple courts and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. And as he taught them, he said, ‘Is it not written: “My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations”? But you have made it “a den of robbers.”’ Mark 11:15-18

When we read this passage, we often focus on one thing: Jesus gets angry. Let's take this opportunity to change our focus.

Yes, Jesus gets angry. Jesus overturned tables. He drove people out of the temple courts. He confronted what was happening in a very visible way.

But why?

Was Jesus angry because people were earning a living? Was He angry because people were selling animals for sacrifices? Was He opposed to business? No.

Jesus was angry because something had become a barrier between people and the presence of God.

The temple was supposed to be a place where people encountered God’s mercy. It was supposed to be a place of prayer, forgiveness, healing, and worship. It was supposed to be a place where people discovered the goodness and love of God.

Instead, something had gotten in the way. The very place designed to help people draw near to God had become filled with distractions.

And Jesus loved people too much to leave those distractions in place.

Jesus Gets Angry When Sin Separates Us From Him

I have been thinking lately about the misconceptions we sometimes have about sin.

We use phrases like, “God hates sin,” and “hate the sin, love the sinner.” While these statements are often meant to communicate a feeling, I think they miss the mark. These statements can sometimes leave people with the wrong impression of God.

Especially when we are the ones struggling.

Sometimes we begin to believe that God’s anger toward sin means God is angry with us. But God’s hatred of sin is never separated from His love for people.

God hates what sin does.

He hates the destruction.
He hates the bondage.
He hates the pain.
He hates the way sin separates us from the life and freedom He created us to experience.

A loving Father does not ignore the things that harm His children. He removes them. He confronts them.

God's desire is not to push us away. He wants to push away the things that harm us. His desire is to restore us.

He is never against us - He is for us.

Jesus Gets Angry When Sin Overshadows God's Mercy

Sometimes people look at the Old Testament and wonder if God seems different from the God revealed through Jesus. But God’s character has never changed.

The same God who walked with Adam in the garden is the God who came near to us through Christ.

The same God who confronted sin is the God who offered forgiveness.

The same God who called His people back is the God who gave His Son.

When God revealed Himself to Moses, He described His own character: “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin…” (Exodus 34:6-7)

Over and over throughout Scripture, God describes Himself as merciful, compassionate, patient, faithful, and loving:

“The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.” (Psalm 145:8-9)

“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.’” (Jeremiah 31:3)

This is the heart of God.

Mercy.
Compassion.
Faithfulness.
Love.

Jesus Gets Angry When There's a Roadblock Between Us and God

Let's go back to the temple. people in the temple were not simply conducting business - they had created a substitute.

They were offering something temporary in place of something eternal. They were focused on what they could purchase instead of what they could receive from God.

The temple was supposed to be a place where people came to:

• experience forgiveness
• receive healing
• encounter God’s presence
• learn His ways
• draw near to Him

Instead, they were distracted by something lesser: they were self-medicating in the presence of Jesus.

If we are honest, we do the same thing today.

Not because we are trying to rebel against God.

Sometimes because we are tired. Sometimes because we are overwhelmed. Sometimes because we are hurting.

We reach for things that temporarily comfort us: the endless scroll of social media, the need for approval, the pursuit of perfection.

Busyness.

Control.

Overfunctioning.

Avoidance.

Entertainment.

The things that help us forget for a moment.

None of these things are necessarily sinful by themselves. A cup of coffee, a favorite show, a hobby, or time with friends can all be gifts from God. But anything can become a substitute when we turn to it instead of turning to Him.

Anything can become a roadblock when it keeps us from receiving what only God can provide.

What Is Jesus Turning Over in Your Life?

When Jesus cleared the temple, He was not destroying something good. He was restoring something holy. He was removing the things that prevented people from experiencing what they truly needed.

He still does that today. Please don't understand: God’s correction is not rejection. His conviction is not condemnation. His desire is not to push us away. His desire is to draw us closer.

Romans 8:1 reminds us: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The God who corrects you is the God who loves you. The God who reveals what is broken is the God who heals. The God who asks you to surrender something is the God who knows what you need more than you do.

Perhaps today is a good day to ask a few questions:

Lord, what have I allowed to become a roadblock between You and me?

What am I reaching for instead of reaching for You?

What have I allowed to take the place that belongs only to You?

A prayer I have been praying recently is this:

“Lord, help me see how much I lose when I lose You. My perspective on my life and all of life becomes distorted when I don’t make space for You. When I allow other things to obscure Your love for me, remind me that Your love is better than life.”

May we become quiet enough to hear Him. May we become still enough to recognize His presence. May we allow Him to clear away whatever keeps us from the fullness of life found only in Him.

He is not against us. He is for us. The God who turns over tables is the same God who gave His life for us - and when we view why Jesus gets angry from that perspective, that anger begins to look a whole lot like love.

If today’s reflection encouraged or challenged you, I’d love for you to continue the conversation with me on this week’s episode of the Connect Podcast - subscribe here so you don't miss an episode. And if you’re longing to grow deeper in your walk with Christ while serving faithfully in ministry, I’d love to invite you to join the Connect Mentoring Network. Inside you’ll find biblical resources, on-demand courses, mentoring, a private community of women in ministry, and practical encouragement to help you lead from a place of health rather than exhaustion.

You don’t have to navigate ministry or life alone. I’d love to connect with you through the podcast and welcome you into the Connect Mentoring Network community as we pursue Christ together - and thanks for spending this time with me today! Talk to you soon!

Have you ever looked at your calendar at the end of a busy week and wondered, “Where did the time go?”

You worked hard. You cared for the people around you. You answered the messages, completed the tasks, showed up where you needed to be, and handled the responsibilities in front of you. You did all the things and you did it well.

But somewhere along the way, you may have wondered: Am I making space for what matters most?

Many of us desire a deeper relationship with God. We want to spend time in His Word, grow in prayer, care well for our families, invest in meaningful relationships, and live with purpose. But good intentions alone don’t always create lasting change.

The reality is this: our lives are shaped by our rhythms.

What Is a Rule of Life?

A Rule of Life is an intentional plan for ordering our lives around what matters most.

Simply put, a rule of life is a way of making space and time for the things we have prayerfully determined are valuable. It helps us intentionally center our lives around Christ rather than allowing our days to be shaped only by demands, distractions, and circumstances.

The word “rule” can sometimes make us think of restrictions or requirements, but a Rule of Life is not about creating a list of religious obligations. It is about creating a pattern. It is about asking: How can I organize my life in a way that helps me remain connected to Jesus?

The truth is, every one of us already has a “rule of life” whether or not we intentionally wrote it down or planned it out: our calendar.

Our calendars reveal what we value. The things we consistently make time for—our work, relationships, hobbies, commitments, rest, and routines—show what has priority in our lives. Our time must be budgeted just like our finances (I blogged about that here).

The question is not whether we have rhythms. The question is: Are our rhythms helping us become the people God created us to be?

The Problem With Unintentional Rhythms

When we don’t intentionally consider how we are living, it is easy to become overwhelmed. Our schedules fill up. Our responsibilities multiply. Our attention becomes divided. Before we know it, we can find ourselves feeling:

Scattered: Our schedule is full, but it doesn’t always reflect our purpose or priorities.

Hurried: We are constantly busy, but unsure what needs to change.

Reactive: We spend our days responding to everyone else’s needs instead of living with intention.

Exhausted: We reach the end of the day wondering if we spent our time well.

This is not the life most of us desire, but it can happen so easily. A Rule of Life gives us an opportunity to pause and prayerfully consider:

What has God entrusted to me in this season?

What rhythms help me stay close to Him?

What needs to be adjusted so I can live with greater purpose and peace?

Centering Our Lives Around Christ

The goal of a Rule of Life is not about a perfectly organized schedule. The goal is a life that remains connected to Jesus.

Jesus said: “Abide in Me, and I in you… for without Me you can do nothing" (John 15:4-5). Everything flows from abiding.

A Rule of Life helps us create space for that abiding relationship. It reminds us that ordinary moments can be offered to God. Laundry can be done for His glory. Work can be done for His glory. Caring for our families can be done for His glory.

And yes, even rest can be received as a gift from Him.

Prayer, Scripture, worship, relationships, and even the everyday responsibilities of life can all become opportunities to walk closely with Christ.

A Personal Testimony: God Really Did Mean Exodus 20:8-11

On a personal note, my first attempt at developing a Rule of Life was prompted by an important—and glaring—omission in my busy schedule: I wasn’t practicing a weekly Sabbath.

Perhaps this is one of the most overlooked of the Ten Commandments. It seems like an easy one to skip, doesn’t it?

I certainly found plenty of ways to justify it. After all, I was busy serving God and His people. As a pastor’s wife, Sundays were spent serving my church, so they certainly weren’t a day of rest. Between ministry, full-time work, and family responsibilities, I didn’t see where I could possibly find another 24 hours to set aside.

I also had some misconceptions about Sabbath. I assumed it had to be on Sunday, and I thought it meant spending 24 hours doing little more than sleeping or reading my Bible.

I was mistaken on both counts.

While many Christians observe Sabbath on Sunday, the biblical principle is to set apart a regular day each week for rest and worship. For me, that day became Friday evening through Saturday evening.

I also discovered that Sabbath wasn’t about doing nothing. It was about intentionally receiving God’s gift of rest. It became 24 hours of inviting Jesus into activities that restored my soul and reminded me that my worth isn’t found in my productivity.

Here’s where my Rule of Life made all the difference.

When I prayerfully looked at my calendar, I realized I had made commitments that left no room for Sabbath. If I wanted to obey God’s invitation to rest, something had to change. Some commitments needed to be rearranged, and others needed to be released altogether.

It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually I established a rhythm of Sabbath from Friday dinner until Saturday dinner. It has become one of the greatest gifts God has given me.

So what does Sabbath look like for me?

Sometimes it’s dinner with my husband. Sometimes it’s coffee with a genuine friend—with no hidden agenda or ministry meeting disguised as fellowship. I sleep in, walk my pup, browse my favorite shops, ride my bike, read a good book, or enjoy an afternoon nap. These simple activities restore my soul, fill my heart with gratitude, and remind me that God designed rest as a gift, not a reward.

My Rule of Life helped me make space for what matters most. It also gave me the freedom to offer my best yes—and, when necessary, my best no—without guilt.

God really was serious about the Sabbath commandment (Exodus 20:8–11). But His command wasn’t meant to burden us; it was given because He knew we would need the gift of rest.

Developing a Rule of Life helped me receive that gift. It continues to create space not only for Sabbath, but also for the other priorities God has entrusted to me. Those intentional rhythms have brought greater peace, healthier boundaries, and a deeper awareness of His presence in my everyday life.

A Rule of Life Is About Faithfulness, Not Perfection

One of the most important things to remember is that a Rule of Life is not about becoming more disciplined so God will love us more. God’s love is already secure.

Instead, a Rule of Life helps us respond to His love by intentionally creating space for Him.

It is not about adding more pressure to an already full life. It is about making room for what gives life. It is about recognizing that every yes requires a no, and prayerfully choosing where we want to invest our limited time, energy, and attention.

Begin With One Small Step

Developing intentional rhythms does not require completely changing your life overnight. Small steps matter.

You might begin by asking:

• What helps me feel connected to God?
• What rhythms bring life and renewal?
• Where do I feel most distracted or depleted?
• What is one small change I can make to create more space for Jesus?

God is not asking you to become someone else. He is inviting you to walk with Him more intentionally in the life and season He has given you.

A Rule of Life is simply a way of saying: “Lord, I want my days to reflect what matters most.”

If you are ready to go deeper and create intentional spiritual rhythms that fit your season of life, I invite you to explore the Developing a Rule of Life e-course inside Connect Mentoring Network. Together, we’ll walk through practical steps to prayerfully build rhythms that help you stay centered in Christ.

Let’s continue this conversation on the podcast this Thursday - subscribe here so you don’t miss an episode! Thanks for reading today and I’m excited to connect with you again soon!

I’m grateful to share that The Christian Post has published my second article, titled “What to Do When God Speaks a Second Time.”

Jeremiah 33:3 has long been one of my favorite verses. Many of us have memorized God’s invitation to “Call to Me, and I will answer you…” Yet as I studied the passage more closely, I noticed something I had overlooked for years: when God gave Jeremiah that beautiful promise, He had come to Jeremiah a second time.

Jeremiah was still imprisoned. The difficult circumstances hadn’t changed. The first message God gave him wasn’t easy to hear. Yet Jeremiah remained willing to listen when the Lord spoke again.

That simple observation challenged me personally.

How often do we welcome another word from the Lord when the first one required sacrifice, patience, or obedience?

In this article, I reflect on Jeremiah’s response, my own experiences of following God’s difficult leading, and the hope we find when we continue listening—even in hard seasons.

I pray it encourages you to keep your heart open to whatever the Lord wants to say next.

Read the full article on The Christian Post: https://www.christianpost.com/voices/jeremiah-333-what-to-do-when-god-speaks-a-second-time.html

Follow my YouTube channel here, and my blogs/other resources are found at www.ConnectMentoringNetwork.org. 

I’d love to hear what the Lord speaks to you through this passage - please comment or reach out! Love y'all! 

Introduction: The Question Many Believers Quietly Ask

It's a common question among believers—whether new to faith or seasoned in ministry— and perhaps you have also wondered how to hear God's voice.

Underneath that question is often something deeper: Does God still speak today? And if He does, how do I know it’s really Him? Understanding how to hear God’s voice begins with understanding God’s desire for relationship with His people.

For many people, hearing God can feel distant, complicated, or reserved for spiritual leaders. But Scripture tells a very different story: God has always desired relationship with His people—not distance, not mediation, and not spiritual hierarchy.

One of the clearest pictures of this comes from one of my favorite moments in Deuteronomy 5.

God’s Original Invitation: Direct Relationship

In Deuteronomy 5, the people of Israel have just experienced something extraordinary.

They heard the voice of God from the mountain. They witnessed His presence in fire and glory. They came face to face with the reality that God actually speaks to His people.

Their response is revealing. They say, in essence: “We have heard God’s voice… and it is too much for us. Moses, you go hear from God for us.”

Instead of embracing direct relationship, they request a mediator.

And God responds with a heartbreaking observation: “Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep My commandments…” (Deuteronomy 5:29)

This moment is not just historical—it is deeply theological: God’s desire was never distance. It was relationship. He wanted to speak directly to His people.

But they chose mediated access instead of intimate connection.

How To Hear God’s Voice: The Subtle Shift from Relationship to Religion

One reason many believers struggle with how to hear God’s voice is that they have unknowingly replaced relationship with religious performance.

This moment reveals something we still struggle with today. It is possible to have access to God… and still choose distance in how we relate to Him.

Many believers unintentionally shift from relationship with God to a system of spiritual dependence on others.

This can look like:

• Only hearing God through sermons
• Relying entirely on others for direction
• Feeling unqualified to discern God’s voice personally
• Believing intimacy with God is reserved for “spiritual leaders”

But Scripture consistently shows the opposite: God’s invitation has always been personal.

Relationship vs. Religion: Two Different Ways of Living

One of the clearest distinctions in spiritual life is the difference between relationship-driven faith and rule-driven religion.

Religion sounds like:

• “I have to read my Bible so God is pleased with me.”
• “I need to pray or I’ll fall behind spiritually.”
• “I’m afraid I’ll miss God if I don’t follow the right formula.”

Relationship sounds like:

• “I want to hear from God because I know Him.”
• “I look forward to time with Him.”
• “His voice brings clarity, peace, and direction.”

The external behaviors may look similar—but the internal motivation is entirely different. One is driven by fear and obligation. The other is driven by love and intimacy.

How To Hear God’s Voice: God Never Intended a Middleman for Intimacy

When Israel asked Moses to hear from God on their behalf, God allowed it.

But it was not His ideal design. It was a concession to fear, and a desire to be in relationship whatever that looked like for the people at that moment. It was not a reflection of His heart: His heart was intimacy.

We see this same tension today when believers unintentionally outsource their spiritual discernment:

• “What did your pastor say about it?”
• “What do you think God is telling me?”
• “Can you pray and hear from God for me?”

While spiritual counsel is valuable and biblical, it was never meant to replace personal relationship with God.

The Holy Spirit was given so that every believer could know God personally.

Jesus said: “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit… will teach you all things.” (John 14:26)

That is direct access.

Not mediated spirituality.

How To Hear God’s Voice: God Still Speaks Today

Learning how to hear God’s voice is not about discovering a secret spiritual formula. It is about growing in relationship with the God who is already speaking.

One of the most important truths in Scripture is this: God did not stop speaking after biblical times.

He speaks through His Word. He speaks through the Holy Spirit. He speaks through peace, conviction, wisdom, and confirmation.

But His voice is always consistent with His nature and His Word.

We see this modeled throughout Scripture:

David

David regularly pours out his heart to God, then listens in stillness. His psalms reflect a rhythm of expression and listening—what he later describes as “Selah.”

Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38–42)

Mary chooses presence over performance. Jesus affirms her choice as “the better part”—not because work is wrong, but because intimacy must come first.

Paul

Paul makes ministry decisions based on spiritual direction: “I had no rest in my spirit…” (2 Corinthians 2:13)

He was being led internally by the Holy Spirit—not merely external circumstances.

Jesus: The Model of Intimate Relationship with the Father

Jesus is the clearest picture of what it means to live in constant connection with God. He says: “This is eternal life, that they may know You…” (John 17:3)

Not know about God.

Not perform for God.

But know Him.

Jesus lived from continual communion with the Father. He withdrew to pray. He listened. He obeyed. He moved in step with what He heard.

Even on the cross, He could say: “It is finished.”

Not because everything in the world was completed, but because everything the Father asked Him to do was fulfilled.

That kind of clarity comes from intimacy.

Law vs. Relationship: The Internal Difference That Changes Everything

Paul describes two ways of living in Romans 8. One is life under law. The other is life in the Spirit.

Living under law often feels like:

• Pressure
• Performance
• Fear of missing it
• Constant self-evaluation

Living in relationship with God feels like:

• Peace
• Guidance
• Trust
• Freedom

Paul writes: “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus…” (Romans 8:1)

That means hearing God’s voice is not rooted in fear of getting it wrong.

It is rooted in relationship with the One who speaks.

Why This Matters for Your Spiritual Life

As you learn how to hear God’s voice, you begin to experience greater confidence, peace, and clarity in your daily walk with God.

When believers begin to trust that God still speaks, everything shifts:

• Prayer becomes relational instead of transactional
• Scripture becomes alive instead of routine
• Decision-making becomes Spirit-led instead of fear-driven
• Faith becomes interactive instead of passive

And most importantly: You stop living spiritually through others—and begin walking with God personally.

Reflection Questions

Take a moment to consider:

• Do I believe God speaks to me personally?
• Have I unintentionally relied more on others than on the Holy Spirit?
• Do I approach God from relationship or obligation?
• What would change if I truly trusted that God wants to lead me personally?

Action Step: Rebuild Intimacy with God

This week, set aside intentional time to simply be with God—not to perform, not to complete a checklist, but to listen.

Ask Him: “Lord, what are You saying to me right now?” Then pause.

Write down impressions, Scriptures, or thoughts that align with His Word and His character.

Spiritual growth is not only about learning more. It is about learning to recognize His voice.

Conclusion: The Invitation Still Stands

The story of Deuteronomy 5 is not just about Israel’s past. It is about our present invitation.

God still speaks. He still invites relationship. He still desires direct communion with His people.

The question is not whether God is speaking. The question is whether we are willing to listen and learn how to hear God’s voice through a growing relationship with Him.

Connect With Us

If this message resonated with you, I want to invite you to go deeper.

Inside Connect Mentoring Network, we help women in ministry and leadership grow in:

• Hearing God’s voice
• Spiritual discernment
• Leadership clarity
• Emotional and spiritual health
• Sustainable ministry rhythms

If you’ve ever wondered how to hear God’s voice with greater confidence and discernment, you’re not alone. In our How to Hear God’s Voice e-course, we walk step-by-step through developing confidence in recognizing God’s voice in everyday life.

You don’t have to live spiritually distant or uncertain. You were created for relationship with God. And that relationship is still available today. God is not silent. He is not distant. He is speaking.

The invitation is still the same: Come near. Listen. Walk with Me.

Let's continue this conversation on Thursday's podcast - subscribe here. I can't wit to connect with you again soon!

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 NKJV

What is sustainable ministry and why does it matter? Sustainable ministry is serving God in a way that allows you to remain spiritually healthy, emotionally whole, and faithful for the long haul. It is ministry fueled by a deep relationship with Christ rather than constant striving, pressure, or exhaustion.

This matters because many ministry leaders begin with passion and calling but eventually find themselves running on empty. God never intended for ministry to be sustained by self-sufficiency. Instead, He designed us to serve from a place of ongoing communion with Him. Sustainable ministry begins at the Source.

Sustainable Ministry and the Lie We Might Believe

Many ministry leaders begin their journey with sincere hearts, deep compassion, and a genuine desire to serve God faithfully. They love people. They love the Church. They want their lives to make an eternal impact.

But somewhere along the way, many leaders begin believing a dangerous lie: My effectiveness comes from my activity.

It doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, it often grows out of good intentions.

There are sermons to prepare, meetings to attend, people to counsel, events to coordinate, emails to answer, and countless needs demanding our attention. The pace of ministry can become relentless. Before we realize it, we begin measuring faithfulness by productivity and fruitfulness by busyness.

The result? We may continue serving while slowly becoming spiritually depleted, and the goal of sustainable ministry sadly fades to the background.

The Problem With Ministry Fueled by Depletion

At first, ministry fueled by adrenaline and determination can seem effective. We may accomplish a great deal. We may even receive encouragement and affirmation from others.

But when ministry is fueled by pressure rather than communion with God, the soul eventually begins to show signs of wear.

You may recognize some of these warning signs:

• Emotional exhaustion
• Spiritual dryness
• Irritability
• Loss of joy
• Difficulty resting
• Feeling disconnected from God while still serving Him publicly
• Resentment toward responsibilities you once loved

Many leaders continue ministering while privately running on empty - but this was never God’s design. This is the opposite of sustainable ministry.

Jesus never instructed His followers to produce fruit through self-effort. He invited them to abide.

Sustainable Ministry: Fruitfulness Flows From Abiding

In John 15, Jesus paints a powerful picture: “I am the vine, you are the branches.”

Branches do not strain to produce fruit. They do not grit their teeth and work harder. Fruit is simply the natural result of remaining connected to the vine.

The healthiest ministries are not sustained by talent, personality, gifting, or determination alone. They are sustained by ongoing communion with God:

Prayer. Worship. Scripture. Dependence. Listening. Repentance. Rest. Abiding.

The danger comes when our public output begins to exceed our private connection with God.

We may become highly skilled at serving others while neglecting our own relationship with Christ. We know how to prepare lessons, lead meetings, mentor people, and solve problems, but we slowly lose the ability to sit quietly with Jesus without producing something.

Ministry is healthiest when it flows from relationship, not religious production.

Sustainable Ministry: Identity Before Assignment

Another dangerous trap ministry leaders face is confusing what they do with who they are.

Before Jesus preached a sermon, performed a miracle, or gathered disciples, the Father declared: “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17 NKJV)

Jesus was loved before He performed - and the same is true for you and me.

Our value is not established by ministry size, platform, visibility, productivity, or praise from people. Our identity is rooted in being beloved children of God.

When we attach our identity to ministry performance, unhealthy patterns often emerge:

• We feel guilty when resting.
• We struggle to say no.
• We overcommit.
• We become anxious about people’s opinions.
• We measure our worth by our productivity.
• We experience emotional collapse when seasons of ministry change.

If your identity is built on assignment, every challenge will feel personal - but when your identity is rooted in Christ, ministry becomes something you steward rather than something you need in order to feel valuable.

Sustainable Ministry: Three Ways to Cultivate Communion With God When Life Is Busy

The reality is that ministry seasons can be demanding. The solution isn’t withdrawing from responsibility; it’s strengthening our connection to the Source.

Here are three practical ways to cultivate communion with God even during busy seasons:

1. Schedule Time With God Before You Schedule Ministry

Many leaders schedule their devotional life around ministry demands. What if we reversed that? Here's your new order: protect time with God as the most important appointment of your day. Don’t simply prepare for God—spend time with Him.

2. Build Rhythms of Rest Into Your Life

Psalm 23 reminds us that the Shepherd leads us beside still waters and restores our souls.

Rest is not a reward for finishing ministry. It is part of God’s design for sustaining ministry. Healthy leaders understand that restoration is not optional.

3. Evaluate What Is Fueling Your Service

Take an honest inventory. Are you serving from love or pressure? From calling or obligation?From overflow or depletion?

The answers may reveal where God is inviting you to reconnect with Him.

Sustainable Ministry: Ministry Was Never Meant to Cost You Your Soul

One of the greatest misconceptions in ministry is that exhaustion is proof of faithfulness. It isn’t.

Sustainable ministry is not built on striving, adrenaline, gifting, or public affirmation. It is built on a deep, ongoing relationship with Jesus.

The goal is not merely to survive ministry. The goal is to remain spiritually healthy while faithfully serving for decades.

Healthy ministry begins at the Source.

Sustainable Ministry: Reflection

Take a few moments this week to prayerfully consider:

• What currently fuels most of my ministry activity?
• Am I more connected to God or more consumed by ministry demands?
• Have I tied my identity to ministry performance?
• What signs of depletion am I experiencing?
• What would it look like for my ministry to flow from overflow instead of exhaustion?

Ready to Go Deeper?

This article is adapted from one of the sustainable ministry health and leadership courses available inside Connect Mentoring Network.

If you’re a woman serving in ministry leadership and desire healthy rhythms, biblical encouragement, mentoring, and practical tools for long-term sustainability, we’d love to walk alongside you. Learn more about Connect Mentoring Network and discover resources designed to help you serve faithfully for the long haul.

Let's continue this conversation on Thursday's podcast - subscribe here so you don't miss it! Remember: God never asked us to carry His work through self-sufficiency. He invites us to abide. If the goal is a sustainable ministry, the goal is also intimacy with Christ. Connect to the Vine! Let's connect again soon, friend!

Exciting News!

This week’s blog post is a little different because I have some exciting news to share!

This week, my first article with The Christian Post was published, and I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to contribute to a publication that reaches millions of readers each month.

When The Christian Post invited me to submit writing samples, I sent several articles and waited to hear back. Their editors reviewed the submissions, and one of those articles was selected for publication. To say I’m honored would be an understatement.

The article is titled: Do You Trust God Less Than You Do Your Laundry Detergent?

It’s a simple question, but one that challenged me deeply. We trust many things every day without hesitation, yet sometimes we struggle to trust the God who has proven Himself faithful over and over again.

Writing about faith in the ordinary moments of life has always been close to my heart. My prayer is that this article encourages readers to take a fresh look at God’s faithfulness and to trust Him more fully in every area of life.

You can read the article here:

Read the article:
https://www.christianpost.com/voices/do-you-trust-god-less-than-you-do-your-laundry-detergent.html

Thank you to everyone who reads the blog, listens to the podcast, supports Connect Mentoring Network, shares articles, and encourages me to keep writing. Your support means more than you know.

Most of all, I am grateful for every opportunity to point people to Jesus and remind them that He is faithful. Thankful today for The Christian Post for their confidence in me and commitment to excellence.

Join me on the blog every Tuesday here and join me on the podcast every Thursday here. I'm honored to continue this journey with you!

Blessings,

Jennifer

There are two parties in every betrayal—the one who has been betrayed and the one who betrayed.

If you are reading this, I’m assuming you or someone you love has experienced betrayal trauma. Maybe the wounds are fresh and shocking. Maybe the pain has lingered for months or years. Maybe you are still trying to understand how someone you trusted could hurt you so deeply.

I want to affirm something clearly before we go any further:

Your pain is real.
It is deep.
It feels unbearable at times.

But Jesus wants to heal you.

Here is the hope we must hold onto throughout this journey: What Jesus did for you on the cross is far more significant than what was done to you.

If you are searching for how to get over betrayal trauma, healing begins with understanding that recovery is possible—even if it feels impossible right now.

You will not always feel this broken.
You will not always feel this heavy.
You will not always feel trapped in the pain.

Healing from betrayal trauma is a journey, and God walks every step of that journey with you.

Betrayal Trauma Cuts Deep Because Relationship Was Involved

Betrayal trauma does not usually come from strangers.

It comes from people we trusted. People we loved. People we believed were safe.

A spouse.
A close friend.
A family member.
A coworker.
A ministry leader.
A ministry partner.

The deeper the relationship, the deeper the wound.

That is why betrayal trauma affects us so profoundly. It damages not only the relationship itself, but also our sense of safety, identity, and emotional stability.

Sometimes people minimize betrayal by saying things like:

• “Just move on.”
• “Don’t dwell on it.”
• “Everything happens for a reason.”
• “You just need to forgive.”

While forgiveness is important, minimizing pain is never biblical healing.

Jesus never ignored wounded hearts.

Throughout Scripture, we see Him move toward pain, not away from it. He healed the brokenhearted, comforted the grieving, and restored the wounded.

Psalm 34:18 says: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

If your spirit feels crushed right now, God is not distant from you. He is near.

Healing From Betrayal Trauma Requires Acknowledging the Pain

One of the greatest misunderstandings about how to get over betrayal trauma is the belief that healing happens by pretending the pain does not exist.

But avoided pain does not disappear. It buries itself deeper.

Some people try to numb betrayal through:

• Busyness
• Isolation
• Anger
• Control
• Spiritual performance
• Distractions
• Denial

But eventually the wound resurfaces because unhealed pain always finds a way to speak.

Healing begins when we honestly acknowledge:

• “This hurt me.”
• “This changed me.”
• “I am grieving.”
• “I need God’s healing.”

There is strength in honesty. Jesus cannot heal wounds we refuse to uncover.

The Pain of Recovery from Betrayal Trauma Can Feel Even Greater

This may sound surprising, but many people discover the pain of recovery feels even harder than the initial betrayal itself.

Why?

Because healing requires us to face what happened instead of running from it.

Recovery forces us to:

• Process grief
• Face disappointment
• Rebuild trust
• Release bitterness
• Surrender control
• Confront fear
• Allow God into wounded places

That process can feel exhausting, but here is a truth worth remembering:

To the degree that you are willing to embrace the pain of recovery is the degree to which you will heal.

Avoiding the pain keeps you stuck. Working through the pain leads to freedom.

This is true emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Healing often requires discomfort before restoration.

Think about physical therapy after an injury. The exercises can hurt. Muscles must stretch again. Weakness must be rebuilt slowly over time.

Emotional healing works similarly.

God is not punishing you in the process. He is restoring you through it.

Healing Happens One Layer at a Time

Recovery from betrayal trauma is not usually instant. More often, healing happens in layers. I often think of betrayal recovery like peeling an onion.

Each layer reveals something deeper:

• Grief
• Anger
• Fear
• Forgiveness
• Surrender
• Identity
• Hope
• Trust

At first, you may simply be surviving the shock. Later, you may begin grieving what was lost.

Then God reveals areas where bitterness has taken root. Eventually, He will begin restoring joy and peace again.

Each layer matters, and sometimes peeling those layers hurts. Anyone who has cut into an onion knows it can bring tears. Healing does too.

But those tears are not signs of failure. They are signs that God is working.

Sometimes Christians become discouraged because they thought they had already healed, only to discover another layer of pain later.

Please do not mistake deeper healing for failure. God heals thoroughly, not superficially.

Philippians 1:6 reminds us: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Your healing journey matters to God.

Healing Requires Surrender to God

One of the hardest parts of betrayal trauma is losing control.

You did not choose what happened. You could not prevent another person’s choices. You cannot rewrite the past.

That helplessness can create tremendous anxiety, but healing begins when we surrender the outcome, the pain, and the future to God.

Surrender does not mean:

• Pretending betrayal was acceptable
• Trusting unsafe people blindly
• Ignoring wisdom or boundaries
• Avoiding accountability

Surrender does mean releasing vengeance, fear, and ultimate control into God’s hands.

Romans 12:19 says: “Do not take revenge… but leave room for God’s wrath.”

When betrayal wounds us, we might want justice immediately. We want answers. We want restoration now.

However, healing grows when we trust God to handle what we cannot. Trust Him to step in and be your protector, defender, healer.  Leave space for God to do what only God can do.

I’m not talking about passive weakness.  This kind of trust is active faith.

Jesus Understands Betrayal Personally

One reason Jesus is uniquely able to heal betrayal trauma is because He experienced betrayal Himself.

Judas betrayed Him.
Peter denied Him.
The disciples abandoned Him.
Religious leaders falsely accused Him.

Jesus understands the heartbreak of rejection and broken trust.

Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that we do not have a High Priest unable to sympathize with our weaknesses.

He understands your grief intimately. Through the cross, He made healing possible. This is why the cross matters so deeply in betrayal trauma recovery.

The cross reminds us:

• Betrayal does not win
• Evil does not have the final word
• Suffering is not wasted
• Redemption is possible

God brought salvation out of suffering.

While betrayal trauma is never good, God is able to redeem even the darkest chapters of your life.

Healing Does Not Mean You Never Remember

Many people searching for how to get over betrayal trauma believe healing means the memory completely disappears.

But healing is not necessarily forgetting. Healing means the wound no longer controls you.

There will come a day when:

• You can think about it without spiraling
• You can talk about it without overwhelming pain
• You can remember without reliving it
• You can trust God again
• You can breathe deeply again

The sting loses its power over time. That does not happen overnight. But it does happen. God truly restores hearts.

Psalm 147:3 says: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Notice that Scripture says He binds wounds.Healing is often a process of careful restoration.

God is patient with your healing. You can be patient with yourself too.

Freedom Is Possible

Right now, you may wonder if freedom is truly possible.

Maybe the pain still feels too overwhelming. Maybe the anxiety still grips you.Maybe trust feels impossible.

But healing from betrayal trauma is possible through God’s grace, truth, wisdom, and time. You will not stay stuck forever.

One layer at a time, God restores.
One prayer at a time, God heals.
One surrendered moment at a time, God rebuilds.

There is coming a day when you will look back and realize:

• You survived
• God carried you
• Your identity remained intact
• Your purpose was not destroyed
• Your future still holds hope

The betrayal may have marked part of your story, but it does not define your entire story. Trust this: Jesus  will have the final word.

A Prayer for Healing

Pray this with me, or some version of this: Jesus, You see every wounded place in my heart. You understand betrayal personally, and You know the depth of my pain. Help me stop running from the healing process. Give me courage to face each layer with You beside me. Restore what has been broken in me. Teach me to trust You again. Remind me that what You did for me on the cross is greater than what was done to me. Heal me fully, Lord. Amen.

You Will Walk in Freedom

Healing from betrayal trauma is a journey—one layer at a time. You may not be where you want to be yet, but you are not abandoned in the process.

God is still working.
God is still restoring.
God is still healing.

Freedom will come.

Remember: what Jesus did for you on the cross is far greater than what was done to you.

Continue the Conversation

Thank you for spending this time with me today. If this message ministered to your heart, be sure to subscribe to @JenniferWSpivey on YouTube and join me Thursday as we continue this conversation about betrayal trauma, emotional healing, forgiveness, and the hope we find in Christ.

If you are looking for deeper support, I’d also love to connect with you through Connect Mentoring Network. You can also check out my e-course, Healing From Betrayal, created to help women navigate betrayal recovery with biblical truth, prayer, and practical encouragement.

Next week, we'll finish up this series on healing from betrayal trauma - I can't wait to connect with you then!

Few pains cut as deeply as betrayal trauma.

When trust is broken by someone you loved, respected, depended on, or believed in, it can leave emotional wounds that feel impossible to explain. Betrayal reaches into the deepest parts of the heart because it attacks safety, trust, identity, and security all at once.

If you are searching for how to get over betrayal trauma, you may already know this pain intimately. Maybe you are carrying the shock of infidelity, abandonment, deception, rejection, manipulation, spiritual abuse, or broken trust from someone you never imagined would hurt you.

And if you are honest? You probably feel incredibly alone.

Betrayal has a way of isolating us. It whispers that no one understands. It convinces us our story is too complicated, too painful, too humiliating, or too unique for anyone else to truly comprehend.

But Scripture tells a different story.

The Bible is filled with people who experienced devastating betrayal. Hang with me, though! The Bible is also filled with hope: God met every one of them in the middle of it. Their stories remind us that betrayal is not new, God is not absent, and your pain is not invisible.

If you have experienced the pain of betrayal, I’m praying for you as you journey through this pain. Please hear this clearly today: You will recover.

What Is Betrayal Trauma?

Before we talk about how to get over betrayal trauma, we need to understand what betrayal trauma actually is.

Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you trusted deeply violates that trust in a significant way. Because relationships are tied to safety and emotional connection, betrayal often affects not only the heart, but also the mind, body, and spirit.

Betrayal trauma may involve:

• Marital unfaithfulness
• Emotional affairs
• Lying and deception
• Abandonment
• Spiritual manipulation
• Broken confidences
• Financial betrayal
• Ministry betrayal
• Friendship wounds
• Family rejection

Betrayal can leave people feeling:

• Unsafe
• Confused
• Angry
• Hypervigilant
• Emotionally numb
• Anxious
• Deeply grieved

Sometimes people minimize betrayal because there are no physical bruises attached to it.  However, emotional and spiritual wounds are real wounds.

At the same time, it is important to understand that not every disappointment is betrayal. Someone disagreeing with you, setting boundaries, or failing to meet every expectation does not automatically mean they betrayed you.

True betrayal involves a breaking of trust, covenant, loyalty, or protection where safety and love were expected.

When it happens, the pain is real.

Why Betrayal Trauma Makes You Feel So Alone

One of the cruelest parts of betrayal trauma is the isolation it creates. You may be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone in your suffering.

Part of that loneliness comes from the deeply personal nature of betrayal. Your story is specific. Your relationship mattered. Your wounds are tied to memories, promises, and trust that belonged uniquely to you.

That matters. Your feelings are valid.

Sometimes Christians feel pressured to “just forgive and move on” without honestly acknowledging the devastation betrayal causes. But healing cannot happen where pain is denied.

God is not intimidated by your grief.
He is near to the brokenhearted.

Sometimes one of the first steps in healing is simply realizing: You are not the only person who has walked this road.

Scripture Is Filled With Stories of Betrayal Trauma

The Bible does not hide human pain. In fact, many of the people God used most powerfully experienced deep betrayal.

Their stories remind us that betrayal does not disqualify you from God’s love, calling, or future.

Lucifer Betrayed God

One of the earliest betrayals in Scripture occurred in heaven itself.

Lucifer, once created beautiful and glorious, rebelled against God in pride and arrogance. Isaiah 14:12–15 and Revelation 12:7–9 describe his fall and rebellion against the Lord.

Imagine the heartbreak of betrayal originating in the very presence of God. Yet even this rebellion did not overthrow God’s authority or interrupt His ultimate plan.

This matters because betrayal often makes us feel like everything has spun out of control. But please remember: God has never once lost control of history—not in heaven, not in Scripture, and not in your life.

David Was Betrayed by Saul

David faithfully served Saul. He fought for him, honored him, and refused to harm him even when given opportunities to do so.

Yet Saul responded with jealousy, suspicion, and relentless pursuit.

First Samuel chapters 18 through 24 reveal a painful reality: sometimes you can love people sincerely and still be wounded by them.

David experienced:

• False accusations
• Threats
• Rejection
• Fear
• Emotional exhaustion

Perhaps hardest of all, David was betrayed by someone he once respected and trusted.

Still, David continued bringing his pain to God.

The Psalms show us that healing begins when we stop pretending and start praying honestly.

David cried.
David questioned.
David grieved.
David worshipped anyway.

True to His character, God remained faithful through every season.

Joseph Was Betrayed Repeatedly

Joseph’s story may be one of the clearest biblical pictures of betrayal trauma.

His own brothers betrayed him out of jealousy. They threw him into a pit, sold him into slavery, and lied to their father about his fate.

As if that were not enough, Joseph was later falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife and forgotten in prison by those he helped.

Betrayal after betrayal after betrayal.

If anyone could have become bitter, hopeless, or consumed by revenge, it was Joseph.

Yet Genesis 37 and Genesis 39–41 reveal something powerful:
God never abandoned him.

Not even in slavery.
Not even  in prison.
Not even in isolation.

Joseph’s story reminds us that betrayal may delay things, but it cannot destroy God’s purpose for your life.

People may misunderstand you.
People may lie about you.
People may walk away from you.

You can be assured of this: God still knows exactly where you are.

Jesus Was Betrayed by Judas

Perhaps the most heartbreaking betrayal in Scripture is the betrayal of Jesus.

Judas walked with Him.
Learned from Him.
Witnessed miracles.
Shared meals with Him.

After all this, Judas still chose betrayal.

Matthew 26:14–16 and 47–50 describe the devastating moment Judas identified Jesus with a kiss—a symbol of affection twisted into betrayal.

Jesus understands betrayal personally.

He understands:

• Rejection
• Abandonment
• False accusations
• Broken trust
• Public humiliation

This is why you can bring your pain honestly to Him. There is no wound you carry that He cannot understand.

When you pray through betrayal trauma, you are not praying to a distant Savior unfamiliar with grief. You are praying to One who has suffered too.

God’s Plan Cannot Be Stopped - Not Even By Betrayal Trauma!

One of the greatest fears betrayal trauma creates is this:

“What if this ruins everything?”

What if my reputation is ruined?
What if my future is ruined?
What if my calling is ruined?
What if I never recover?

But Scripture repeatedly proves that betrayal does not have the final word.

Joseph still fulfilled his purpose.
David still became king.
Jesus still accomplished redemption.

God’s plans for your life are not fragile. People do not have the power to cancel what God has ordained.

That does not mean betrayal trauma does not hurt. It does not mean consequences disappear overnight. It does not mean healing is instant.

But it does mean this: Your destiny is safer in God’s hands than in human hands.

Your purpose did not begin with people’s approval, and it will not end because of their betrayal.

Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Even this pain.
Even this heartbreak.
Even this chapter.

How to Get Over Betrayal Trauma Starts With Bringing It to God

Many people searching for how to get over betrayal trauma are looking for quick relief from overwhelming pain.

But biblical healing is not denial, avoidance, or pretending you are unaffected.

Healing begins with honesty.

God invites you to:

• Grieve honestly
• Pray openly
• Process wisely
• Seek godly support
• Allow Him into the deepest parts of the wound

You do not heal betrayal trauma by stuffing it down spiritually.

You heal by allowing God to meet you inside it.

Sometimes healing also involves:

• Counseling
• Mentorship
• Healthy boundaries
• Time
• Rest
• Community
• Learning to trust God again before trusting people again

Healing is a journey, not a switch - but you are not walking that journey alone.

A Prayer for the Betrayed Heart

Lord, thank You for reminding me I am not alone. You have walked this road. Others have walked this road. And You have brought redemption to every single one. Redeem my story too. Heal my heart. Restore my hope. Amen.

Betrayal Is Not the End of Your Story

If anything, betrayal may become the chapter that draws you closer to the heart of God than ever before.

The enemy wants betrayal to isolate you, harden you, and convince you your future is over.

But God specializes in redemption.

Scripture proves it.
The cross proves it.
And countless redeemed lives prove it.

You are not alone in this pain.
And you are not abandoned in this process.

God sees you.
God is near to you.
And God still has good plans for your life.

Continue the Conversation

Healing from betrayal is not a journey you have to walk alone. I’d love for you to continue learning and growing with me by subscribing to @JenniferWSpivey on YouTube. Join me Thursday as we dive deeper into God’s path toward healing, forgiveness, and restoration after betrayal trauma.

For additional encouragement and mentoring resources, visit Connect Mentoring Network and explore my e-course, Healing From Betrayal, where I share biblical tools and practical guidance for moving forward in freedom and hope.

Let's continue this conversation next week on the blog!

We’ve spent the last several weeks talking about transitions, and I wanted to write one more quick follow-up—this one a bit more personal.

As exciting as a new season can be, here are a couple of truths we don’t always talk about: (1) transition is hard work even in the best of circumstances; and (2) transitioning well is not a skill everyone has.

Trusting God in Transition: Not Everyone Will Go With You

Not everyone is going to rejoice at your new season.
Not everyone is going to go with you into your new season.

There will be people who criticize instead of celebrate.
There will be people who speak when they could have simply stayed silent.

And yes… that can hurt.

Some will quietly disappear. Others will walk away loudly. But your responsibility is not to manage their response. Your responsibility is to transition well—to trust the Lord and to walk in grace… even when grace requires you to walk away.

This is what trusting God in transition looks like.

Trusting God in Transition: Stay in Your Lane and Trust God as Your Defender

Let me take a quick rabbit trail here:

While you are not responsible for managing the response of others, you are also not responsible for reacting to their response. If there is criticism, silence, or anything that feels like it needs defending—remember this: protection belongs to the Lord.

Psalm 18:2 says, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer… in whom I take refuge.” He does not share His role as defender.

So don’t step into a position that was never yours to occupy.

Instead, lean into His peace—and let “the law of kindness” remain on your tongue (Proverbs 31:26).

(That’s a long way of saying: stay in your lane.)

Let’s get back to the subject at hand:

Jesus Modeled Trusting God in Transition

When Jesus Christ was in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36–46), He found His disciples sleeping. And while I’m paraphrasing—let’s just call this the Jennifer translation—His response was essentially, “Sleep on.”

In that moment, He demonstrated something deeply important: the next steps were His to take alone.

Whether the disciples went with Him or not did not change His assignment. He still had to walk forward in obedience—even to the point of death (Philippians 2:8).

Following His example, trusting God in transition means we must be obedient too.

Scripture reminds us in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.”

Not everything assigned to one season is meant for the next. Not everyone assigned to one season is meant for the next.

Trusting God in Transition Means Letting Go

And that realization often brings grief.

Transition comes with loss. Some of that grief will be yours to carry. Some of it will belong to others. Both are real.

But here’s a lesson not just for transition—but for every season of life: hold loosely what God has given you to steward.

1 Peter 4:10 says, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace…”

We are stewards—not owners.

God entrusts us with people.
He entrusts us with seasons.
He entrusts us with assignments.

Faithful stewardship includes both caring well… and releasing well.

When you hold something loosely, it is far less painful when God asks you to release it. Because the truth is—nothing we’ve been given was ever ours to keep forever.

Trusting God in Transition: There Is Grief—and There Is Joy

Yes, there is sadness.

There are people I loved deeply in my previous season—and I still do. People I would have held onto if I could. But for reasons both within and beyond my control, it simply wasn’t possible.

There are memories I will always cherish… and people I still miss.

But there is also joy.

Remember those open hands we’ve talked about? The ones that choose to hold loosely?

They don’t just allow people to flow out—they also allow new people to flow in.

As I was preparing to leave one season, I was also cultivating joy in the next. Or better said—as I was trusting God in transition, He guarded my heart on every side.

There were goodbyes—some necessary, some deeply painful.

There were hope-filled “see you laters”—texts, calls, Zooms, plans made and kept.

There were calendars opened, plane tickets booked, visits to look forward to.

And there were many hellos: new friendships, new connections, new rhythms that made space for new assignments. Space made for joy.

Trusting God in Transition: God Is Doing Something New

Isaiah 43:19 says, “Behold, I am doing a new thing…”

Sometimes, the new thing requires empty hands.

You can hold celebration and consolation at the same time. Joy and grief can coexist.

So feel it all. Process it honestly. Walk it out with the Lord.

But hold tightly to only one thing: your Heavenly Father—who sees all, knows all, and works all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).

Trusting God in Transition: Hold Tightly to God’s Promises

Whether your overriding emotion is joy or grief, whether you are in a season of celebration or sorrow, trusting God in transition means remembering that His kindness toward you remains constant.

Hold tightly to His promises.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Trouble will come—but so will His peace.

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13)

His goodness remains—and so can your confidence.

Trusting God in Transition: You Will Walk This Well

Let’s visit this one more time on the podcast this Thursday—be sure to subscribe here so you don’t miss it. If you’re looking for practical tools, I’ve created “Transition Toolbox” e-courses, along with additional mentoring resources, at Connect Mentoring Network.

Transition isn’t easy—but you don’t walk it alone.

And by God’s grace, as you continue trusting God in transition, you will walk it well.