Last week on the blog and podcast, we asked the question: can a pastor’s wife have friends?  The answer is yes - but there is something I’ve had to learn about friendship that I wish came naturally more often: Hold it lightly. For the pastor's wife and for anyone else who desires healthy friendships, there are a few important principles to remember. Let's share some of these today!

Like everything else in life, friendships have seasons.

Some friendships last a lifetime. Some last for a season. Some are deeply intimate, while others are simply a gift for a particular chapter of our lives.

Sometimes, a friendship that was once incredibly important changes. Sometimes it ends. That can hurt. I won’t pretend it doesn’t.

But I’ve learned that the ending of a friendship doesn’t mean the friendship wasn’t real. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t valuable. And it certainly doesn’t mean that everything we shared somehow becomes meaningless because we don’t share it anymore.

Sometimes it simply means the season changed.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes - Remembering that We Learn to Grip Before We Learn to Release

Have you ever watched a baby grab something? A baby can grab your necklace and hold on for dear life. You might gently try to pull it away, but those tiny fingers seem incapable of releasing it.

The truth is that they are incapable of letting go. They haven’t learned how yet. A child learns how to grip before they learn how to release.

I think we do something similar with the gifts God gives us.

We grab onto people. We grab onto relationships. We grab onto seasons. And because something is good, we assume we should be able to keep it forever.

However, part of growing in Christ is learning how to receive God’s gifts with open hands. That doesn’t mean we don’t value them. It means we recognize that they belong to Him. Friendship is not possession.

People don’t belong to us. They belong to the Lord.

Sometimes the very friendship we are trying desperately to hold onto was never meant to be held forever. It was meant to be received, enjoyed, learned from, treasured—and eventually released.

That is hard. That is painful. But it is also part of learning to trust God.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes - Remembering that God Is My Protector

One of the ways I try to live is with my arms open and my heart open. I remind myself: People might hurt me, but God will protect me. God will heal me.

Over the years, I’ve come to believe that when I build a wall between myself and another person, I’m also putting up a wall between myself and the Lord. I don’t want to build walls between myself and other people because I’m afraid of being hurt.

I think that those walls are essentially saying, God, I don’t believe that You are big enough to protect me.

I don’t want to live that way. I don’t want to have a wall between me and the Lord.  I don’t want to have a wall between me and you.

Scripture repeatedly reminds us that God is our protector:

“The Lord is my protector; He is my strong fortress. My God is my protection, and with Him I am safe.” Psalm 18:2

“You are my defender and protector; I put my hope in Your promise.” Psalm 119:114

“He is my rock and my salvation, my defender; I shall not be greatly shaken.” Psalm 62:6

Psalm 84:11 reminds us: “For the Lord God is a sun and shield…”

When I walk into relationships keeping everyone at arm’s length, trying to protect myself from every possible hurt, I’ve stepped into an office that God belongs in. Protecting is an office that belongs to God. He is not going to share His office with me - I can let Him do it, or I can do it by myself.

I don’t think He’s angry with me when I do that. I think He’s gentle. I almost imagine Him saying: “Jennifer, when you’re tired of protecting yourself, tag Me in. This is My job. And I do it well.”

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes - Remembering that When You Protect Yourself From the Bad, You Also Protect Yourself From the Good

There is another problem with living behind walls. While I’m protecting myself from the possibility of being hurt, I’m also protecting myself from the possibility of being blessed.

I’m keeping people out - but I’m also keeping out the gifts they might bring into my life. I’m keeping out the gifts I might have brought into theirs.

What if that new friendship could have brought laughter into a hard season?

What if that woman needed your friendship just as much as you needed hers?

What if God wanted to use that relationship to teach you something?

What if He wanted to use you to encourage, strengthen, or comfort someone else?

Self-protection can keep out the very thing we’re praying for.

I want to live with discernment, but not fear. I want to be wise without becoming guarded. I want to have boundaries without building walls. I want to live with my arms open, my heart open, and my hands open.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes - so Don’t Protect Yourself From Friendship

It can be very tempting to isolate ourselves after we’ve been hurt. We think, If I don’t let anyone get close, no one can hurt me. It makes sense on the surface. But it isn’t healthy. 

Yes, friendship can hurt.

I’ve had friendships end. They broke my heart. They hurt deeply. There have been moments when I’ve wondered, How will I ever let someone get that close to me again?

But I’ve also learned to ask myself a different question: Would I trade the gift of that friendship to avoid the pain of losing it?

Would I trade the laughter? The memories? The conversations? The things I learned? The ways that person shaped me? The ways God used that relationship in my life?

Would I trade all of that just so I wouldn’t have to experience the pain of saying goodbye?

For me, the answer is no.

Maybe the pain could have been avoided, but the blessing would have been lost. I don’t want to live my life that way.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes - Remembering that The Pain Doesn’t Erase the Gift

Think back over your own life. There are probably people who were once very close to you who aren’t close anymore. This is true for a pastor's wife and for anyone in any station of life.

Maybe you moved. Maybe they moved.

Maybe you changed jobs. Maybe they changed jobs.

Maybe one of you changed churches.

Maybe life simply took you in different directions. Maybe the friendship slowly faded. Maybe you don’t even know exactly why it changed.

That hurts, I won’t pretend it doesn’t. But here’s the encouragement: don’t let the ending erase the gift.

They were a blessing when you had them. The friendship mattered when you shared it. The laughter was real. The memories were real. The growth was real.

The love was real.

The fact that something didn’t last forever doesn’t mean it wasn’t beautiful while it lasted. We don’t have to punish every future friendship because one friendship didn’t stay. We don’t have to eliminate the possibility of blessing because we’re afraid of experiencing another goodbye.

Friends come and go like seasons come and go. Hold them lightly. Enjoy them fully. Love them well.

And trust God with what comes next.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes - and Let God Do His Job

I think sometimes we forget that pain is part of living in a fallen world. You’re going to get hurt. Not necessarily because you did something wrong. Not necessarily because you weren’t discerning enough. Not because you should have kept everyone at arm’s length. Pain is simply part of life on this side of heaven.

But pain doesn’t have to become our reason for isolation - and fear doesn’t have to become our reason for loneliness.

Jesus is our protector. God is our shield. The Holy Spirit is our comforter. So let God do His job.

What’s your “job” here? Use wisdom. Use discernment. Pay attention to red flags. Set healthy boundaries.

But don’t build walls simply because you’re afraid of what might happen on the other side of them. The same open door that allows someone to hurt you also allows someone to love you. The same open heart that can experience grief can experience joy.

I don’t want to miss the joy because I’m trying so hard to avoid the pain.

A. A. Milne wrote a line that has stayed with me: “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

Maybe that’s the better way to look at it. Instead of saying, I’ll never let anyone get that close again, perhaps we can say: I’m grateful I loved deeply enough for goodbye to hurt.

And then we can open our hands with a friend. Open our hearts. Open our arms.

And trust the One who holds us both.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes - You Don’t Have to Do Ministry Alone

So, can a pastor’s wife have friends? Absolutely. Leadership and friendship don’t have to compete with each other. In fact, healthy friendships can become one of God’s gifts for helping us remain grounded, encouraged, and connected as we serve.

If you’re longing for a place to grow deeper in Christ while navigating the joys and challenges of ministry, I’d love to invite you into the Connect Mentoring Network. Through biblical resources, courses, mentoring, encouragement, and meaningful connection with other women in ministry, you’ll find a place to grow and be reminded that you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.

Whether you’re a pastor’s wife or a woman serving on a ministry staff, you don’t have to be the one holding the microphone to make a difference. You can lead faithfully from your front-row seat—and you can learn to do it with health, wisdom, and longevity.

If that’s something you’re looking for, take a look at my Leading From the Front Row e-course, available as a stand-alone course or included with Connect Mentoring Network membership.

Ministry was never meant to be lived in isolation. Hold your friendships lightly, hold your calling faithfully, and stay connected to the people God places along the way.

We’ll keep exploring this conversation on the Connect Podcast this week. Subscribe here so you don’t miss the next episode. Thanks for connecting with me today!

Can a pastor's wife have friends? I believe the answer is a resounding yes! This post is adapted from a conversation between Jennifer Spivey and Jan McIntyre for Silently Bleeding: Hope for the Pastor’s Wife. It is the first in a series exploring healthy friendships, relationships, boundaries, and emotional health for women in ministry. Click here for the original interview - and if you are a pastor’s wife, subscribe to Jennifer Spivey and also to Silently Bleeding! We are in this together!

If you are not a pastor’s wife, stay with me anyway - these principles of healthy friendships will serve anyone in life and leadership well!

When Michael and I first entered ministry, I had lunch with a pastor’s wife who wanted to tell me everything I needed to know before we moved thirteen hours away to join a church staff.

I was young, excited, and already in love with the people we were going to serve. I was so excited to have this ministry leader offer me a little insight and time! I didn't know enough yet to even ask, "Can the pastor's wife have friends?" Then she said something I’ll never forget:

“Jennifer, what you need to know right now is that you are no longer going to have friends. People in the church only want to use you for information, and when your husband makes them angry, they’re going to turn on you too. So just keep to yourself.”

I remember thinking, I’m moving thirteen hours away from my family and my friends, and you’re telling me these people don’t even like me?

I understand now that she was trying to protect me. She had been hurt. She had learned to build walls around her heart, and she wanted to help me avoid the pain she had experienced. After three decades as a pastor’s wife myself, I feel the same heart and desire to protect those coming after me. I’m still grateful for her, her heart for me, and her time. However, it made for a lonely season in my new home!

This was not unusual advice. For years, ministry wives have been told things directly or indirectly that may sound wise but often produce something unhealthy: “Don’t have friends in the church.” The answer to the question, "Can the pastor's wife have friends?" was apparently a hard no.

Some months after arriving at that first church, a blessing came: another associate on staff with us became engaged.  When we went to dinner to celebrate with the soon-to-be-married couple, this precious woman leaned over to me. She whispered, “Missy, I’ve already been told I can’t have friends anymore, so guess what?  That means me and you are new best friends! We’re in this together!” What a gift she became as we served together!

From that early friendship and the years that followed, I learned something very different from that initial piece of advice: You can have friends. You can have friends inside your congregation. You can have friends outside your congregation. You can have close friends. 

And, ministry wife, you need them.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! You Are Still a Human Being

Of course, being a pastor’s wife comes with unique responsibilities. There are things you may know that other people don’t know. There are situations where you have to exercise discretion. There are times when you need to choose carefully what you share and with whom you share it.

However, you are still a human being. You were created for relationship.

The very first thing God declared ‘not good’ during creation was that man was alone (Genesis 2:18). We were never designed to live isolated lives. Galatians 6:2 tells us to “bear one another’s burdens,” and that is one of the beautiful gifts of godly friendship.

Just because you are the pastor’s wife doesn’t mean you don’t have burdens.

You still need someone to call when your heart is hurting.

You still need someone to celebrate with when something wonderful happens.

You still need someone to laugh with over coffee.

You still need someone who knows your story and loves you anyway.

You still need women who will pray with you.

Being a ministry wife doesn’t cancel your need for friendship.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! Wisdom Is Not Isolation

Now, before someone says, “But Jennifer, you can’t tell everyone everything!”

I agree. But that isn’t unique to ministry. It isn’t wise for anyone to tell everyone everything all the time.

There are things I might share with my husband that I wouldn’t share with a friend. There are things I might share with a close friend that I wouldn’t share with someone I’ve just met. There are things I might ask another pastor’s wife about because she understands the particular situation I’m navigating.

And there are things that simply aren’t mine to share at all. That’s not deception. That’s wisdom.

Sometimes people confuse privacy with secrecy. They assume that if we aren’t telling everyone everything, we’re somehow being dishonest.

But Mary gives us a beautiful picture of something different. Scripture tells us that she “treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart” (Luke 2:19).

There are some things we simply hold close. Wisdom means knowing what to share, when to share it, and with whom to share it.

This is true no matter what your title or situation is: use wisdom and discretion. Whether you’re a pastor, an attorney, a teacher, or a mail carrier, you need to choose carefully what you share and with whom you share it.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! Model the Friendships You Want to See

One of the best things a pastor’s wife can do is model healthy friendship.

Celebrate spiritual friendships. When two women in your church become friends, celebrate it.

When you see women having coffee together, don’t wonder, Why wasn’t I invited? Be genuinely glad.

You want the women in your church to love each other. Sometimes they’ll invite you. Sometimes they won’t. It doesn’t have to be personal.

I’ve found that when I celebrate the friendships of the women around me, they are much more likely to celebrate mine.

The women in my church know that part of my own rhythm of life includes taking a girls’ trip a couple of times a year. They see the pictures.

When I come home, they ask, “How was your trip?” It doesn’t create jealousy because healthy friendship has become normal. I think that’s important.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! It is not healthy for the pastor’s wife to be a lone ranger.

If the loneliest person in the church is the pastor’s wife, I would at least wonder if something is unhealthy—not because loneliness makes her less effective in the role of pastor’s wife, but because isolation is rarely a healthy long-term strategy for anyone.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! Your Close Friends Need to Understand Your Role

One of the greatest challenges of having friendships inside the church is managing expectations. Friendship involves trust.

If I call my close friend and say, “I need you to pray for me because….”, I’m trusting her with my story.

But my friend knows that if someone else has trusted me with their story, she also understands that I may not be able to tell her about it. She doesn’t interpret my silence as a lack of trust. She understands that sometimes Michael and I are entrusted with information that isn’t public.

She understands that our friendship isn’t built around collecting other people’s stories. She understands that our friendship exists to help us bear one another’s burdens—not to carry around everyone else’s secrets.

That kind of understanding made healthy friendship within my congregation possible. The few women who understood this dynamic became close friends of mine within my congregation—and remained close friends even after I left that particular church.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! You Don’t Have to Be Best Friends With Everyone

This is another place where ministry wives can put unnecessary pressure on themselves.

You don’t have to be equally close to every woman in your church. In fact, you probably won’t be.

Some people will naturally become closer friends because of shared interests, similar seasons of life, proximity, or simply the way God connects your hearts. That’s normal.

I think we sometimes confuse loving everyone equally with spending equal amounts of time with everyone. Those aren’t the same thing.

I can love every woman in my church deeply without having coffee with every woman in my church every week. I can spend an afternoon with a friend or two without that meaning I’ve intentionally excluded everyone else.

During COVID, I learned this lesson in a very practical way. When things began opening back up, I went through a drive-through with a couple of women from church. These weren’t new relationships. We’d spent time together before. We were friends and it wasn’t a secret.

One of us took a picture and posted it on Facebook. Innocent, right? Everyone posts the obligatory selfie, don’t they?

Not long afterward, I received a few phone calls. Complaints, really.  Imaginary offenses that sounded like: “Well, I thought you and I were going to hang out.”

I remember replying, “We are! We have, and we will.”

That trip to the drive-through wasn’t an exclusive club. We weren’t against anyone else. We were simply three friends having lunch. Not everyone understood - and to be honest, I had to be okay with that.

Sometimes we create expectations in our relationships that no human being could possibly fulfill. Healthy friendships require us to release those expectations.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! Keep Your Heart Open

Years ago, one of our associate pastors got engaged. I loved his fiancée immediately.

I also remember thinking, I’ve got to get to her before Google does.

I called her and said, “Whatever you do, don’t Google ‘pastor’s wife.’” She laughed. “Too late,” she said. “I already learned I can’t have friends anymore.”

I said, “Let’s go have sushi, and we’ll work this out.”

We talked about healthy relationships. I encouraged her: Yes, there are things you can’t tell everyone. Yes, you need wisdom. Yes, people may hurt you.

But before you became a pastor’s wife, could you tell everyone everything? No. So we’re going to be normal. You’ll have things you keep private. You’ll have things you share openly. You’ll have coffee with people. You’ll have friends inside and outside the church.

You don’t have to become a best friend to every woman in your congregation.

But you can live with your heart open and your arms open wide.

That’s where I believe the real blessing begins.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! But, Don't Replace Jesus as Your Best Friend

There is one more important piece to healthy friendship:

Your friend cannot be your Savior.

I spoke with a dear friend and fellow pastor’s wife about this, and she told me something so valuable: there was a season when she realized she was running to the phone instead of running to the Throne.

That phrase has stayed with me.

Friends are gifts from God. They are not God. A friend can pray with you. A friend can encourage you. A friend can listen. A friend can sit beside you in the middle of heartbreak.

But your friend cannot carry the weight that only Jesus can carry.

Sometimes God may even allow a friendship to change or enter a season of distance because He is lovingly reminding us where our ultimate source is.

Run to the throne first. Then call your friend.

When our priorities are in the right order, our friendships become healthier because we aren’t asking another human being to fulfill a role only God can fill.

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! You Can Have Friends—and You Need Them

When Michael entered ministry in 1996, the advice really was: Separate yourself from people in the church. Don’t let anyone get too close. Pretend you’re perfect. Smile all the time. Don’t tell anyone anything.

I understand why that advice existed.

People have been hurt. Ministry can be complicated. Confidentiality matters. Wisdom matters.

But I don’t believe isolation is the answer.

Can the pastor's wife have friends? Yes! You can have friends.

You can have friends inside your church. You can have friends outside your church.

You can have ministry friends who understand the unique things you carry.

And you can have friends who have nothing to do with ministry at all.

You are a ministry wife. But before you are a ministry wife, you are a woman whom God created for relationship.

So open your heart.

Exercise wisdom. Protect confidences. Celebrate the friendships around you. Run to the throne before you run to the phone.

And then?

Go have coffee with a friend.

You were never meant to walk alone.

I want to leave you with some reflection questions today:

1. Have you ever been told that ministry wives shouldn’t have close friends? How did that advice affect you?
2. Do you tend to isolate yourself when you’ve been hurt?
3. Are there friendships inside your church that you could intentionally invest in?
4. Are there friendships outside your church that need more investment?
5. Are you running to the phone before you run to the Throne?
6. What would it look like for you to live with your heart open while still exercising wisdom?

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes - but let’s Be Honest. Will There Be Hurt?

No one escapes heartache and pain,  That’s part of living in this fallen world. Even in friendships, there will be seasons, transitions, misunderstandings, loss, and sometimes even betrayal.

Like the first ministry wife who spoke to me at the very beginning, my heart is to prepare you - and yes, even warn you.  The possibility of pain is real.

But the possibility of pain is not a reason to isolate.

Let’s put a bookmark there and pick this conversation next week.  We have more to unpack.  We’re in this together!

Can a Pastor's Wife Have Friends? Yes! Leadership and Friendship: You Can Have Both!

We’ll continue this conversation on the Connect Podcast this week. Subscribe here so you never miss an episode.

If you’re looking for a place to grow deeper in Christ while serving faithfully in ministry, I’d love to welcome you into the Connect Mentoring Network—a community offering biblical resources, courses, mentoring, encouragement, and connection with other women in ministry.

Whether you’re a pastor’s wife or a woman serving on a ministry staff, you don’t have to hold the microphone to help shape the story. You can lead well from your front-row seat—and you can do it in a way that is healthy and sustainable.

If you’d like to learn more, check out my Leading From the Front Row e-course, available as a stand-alone course or through membership in the Connect Mentoring Network.

You were never meant to navigate ministry or life alone. Let’s stay connected!

In the Kingdom of God, we are called to be cheerleaders not competitors. Competition has no place in Heaven, and it doesn’t reflect the heart of someone who truly understands what God is building. Instead of comparing, striving, or competing with others, we are invited to celebrate the gifts, opportunities, and victories God gives to those around us.

When I spent weeks blogging and podcasting about seasons of transition, I kept returning to this principle: whether you are the incoming leader or the outgoing leader, you are not the comparison—you are the cheerleader. This applies to every single person in the body of Christ. If you are serving Jesus, you are serving the Body—not creating competition within it. I have to say it over and over: we are cheerleaders not competitors!

Cheerleaders Not Competitors: Why Competition Has No Place in the Kingdom of Christ

Think about what comparison does. It isolates. It fuels insecurity. It says, “If you succeed, there’s less for me.” Let me remind you, friend: that is a lie straight from the enemy. God is not limited. Someone else’s blessing does not diminish your portion. If anything, it should remind you of the greatness of the Giver. There is no place for a scarcity mentality here - because we are cheerleaders not competitors!

The Body of Christ: Working Together in Unity

When we forget this, we start comparing, striving, and even resenting what God is doing in someone else. There are red flags there, so hold up—Scripture reminds us over and over that we are one body. A hand should not work against another hand. An elbow should not oppose an eyeball. A shoulder should not trip up a toe. Each part matters. Each part plays a role. The body can only function properly when each part works together in unity.

Celebrating Others: A Kingdom Mindset

Cheerleaders, on the other hand, celebrate progress and victory—whether or not they are the ones holding the trophy. They wave the banner of encouragement, not envy. They make noise for someone else’s moment because they know that when one part of the body thrives, the entire body benefits. They are cheerleaders not competitors!

Cheerleaders Not Competitors: Lessons from Scripture

Peter’s Overflowing Catch (Luke 5)

Luke 5 paints this picture beautifully. When Jesus told Peter to put his nets back into the water after an exhausting, fishless night, the catch was so large that the nets began to break. What was Peter’s first reaction? Did he say, “I’ve got to keep this all to myself”? No. Scripture says he signaled for his partners in the other boat to come and help (Luke 5:6-7).

What God was doing for Peter was not just about Peter. It was about blessing others. It was about enlarging the circle of provision and letting the miracle overflow into other people’s boats.

Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice (Romans 12:15)

Paul makes this clear in Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This is not a suggestion—it is a command. A Christlike posture sees another’s success and says, “Thank You, Lord, for what You are doing in them—and through them—for all of us.”

Strength to Strength Together (Psalm 84:7)

Psalm 84 gives us another glimpse of God’s design for His people: “They go from strength to strength; till each appears before God in Zion” (v. 7). Notice the wording: they go—not he or she, but they. The psalmist is painting a picture of a people on pilgrimage together, drawing strength not just from God, but from one another, until every single one of them reaches the destination.

Cheerleaders Not Competitors: Living as a Cheerleader, Not a Competitor

When I imagine standing before the Lord at the end of my race, I don’t want to come empty-handed or with a spirit of rivalry. I want to arrive arm in arm, hand in hand, raising up my brothers and sisters, celebrating what God has done in all of us. I want to know that I spent my life building others up—not tearing them down, not comparing, not competing—but cheering until the very end. Cheerleaders not competitors!

The beautiful truth about following Christ is that this is not a race where only one person wins. There are no podiums in heaven—only crowns laid at the feet of Jesus. We are all running toward the same finish line, all pursuing the same glory—His glory.

Cheerleaders Not Competitors: Conclusion

Friend, refuse to engage in competition within the body of Christ. Let’s cheer one another on with every ounce of faith and joy we have. When we finally stand before the Lord, my prayer is that we’ll be together—arm in arm, hand in hand—celebrating the goodness of God in all of us. Truth belongs to the Lord. Every gift, calling, or opportunity He places in our hands is not for our glory, but for the benefit of the body of Christ—and when we share joyfully, when we are cheerleader not competitors, we share a treasure!

Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

That little verse holds a very big idea. Paul is telling us that when we bear one another’s burdens—when we show love in tangible, practical ways—we are actually fulfilling the law of Christ. What law? The law that Jesus Himself gave us: to love one another, and to be known by that love.

It’s one thing to talk about love, but Paul takes it a step further. He reminds us to put feet on it. Love isn’t only a feeling; it’s an action. Bearing one another’s burdens means praying for each other, lifting each other up, helping each other, and taking action to care for one another in real and practical ways.

For me, this verse is both a comfort and a conviction.

This verse comforts me because it reminds me that I am not alone. If you’ve been with me for any length of time, you know how important relationships are to me. Of course, my relationship with Jesus comes first—but investing in spiritual friendships matters to me as well. This verse reassures me that community is part of God’s design. We weren’t made to walk through life alone.

This verse convicts me because it reminds me that bearing one another’s burdens goes both ways: it means that I share your burdens and also that you share mine.

The first part—helping others—that comes naturally to me. I’m honored to pray for someone, to encourage, to step in and help however I can. But the second part—the part where I’m the one who shares my burdens—doesn’t come as easily.

Can I be vulnerable with you? Somewhere along the way, I picked up a lie: “If I’m not perfect, you won’t love me.” Because of that lie, sharing my own burdens sometimes feels risky. What if I’m rejected? What if people see my weakness and step back instead of leaning in? Maybe you can relate?

The truth is, it’s hard to let others see the places where we’re weak - but if we keep everything inside, we’re missing the fullness of what God designed community to be. (I’m not suggesting that you tell everybody everything. That wouldn’t be wise. We need to use discernment and listen to the Holy Spirit about what to share and with whom. But keeping everything to ourselves isn’t wisdom either).

One of my favorite verses that reminds me of this truth is Psalm 103:14: “The Lord knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” God knows our weaknesses. He knows our limits. Still, in His kindness, He placed us in families, in communities, and in relationships with one another so that no one has to walk alone.

Sometimes we forget that perfection was never the expectation. Yes, some people may wrongly expect it, but God never does. He sees our weaknesses, and instead of rejecting us, He meets us with compassion. That’s the same heart we should have toward one another: grace, love, and a judgment-free space where burdens can be shared.

Isaiah 40:11 gives us a beautiful picture of how God deals with us: “He shall feed His flock like a shepherd; He shall gather the lambs with His arm, carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.”

What a picture of gentleness. Our Shepherd doesn’t deal harshly with us. He carries us close to His heart. He leads us with tenderness. He loves us when we’re strong and when we’re weak, when we get it right and when we get it wrong. Friend, He delights in you. On your best days and on your worst days, you are a delight to the Lord.

When we live in that freedom—resting in His love—we can extend the same freedom to others. We can walk in grace toward one another, allowing our community to be a safe place where burdens can be shared.

John 3:16 is a verse many of us learned as children: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”

But we often forget to read the very next verse: “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him” (John 3:17).

Our salvation is a free gift. It’s not something we can earn, and it’s not something we can lose by not being “perfect enough.” There is no condemnation in Christ.

If that’s true, then our communities should reflect the same freedom. Bearing one another’s burdens should never come with fear or judgment. You should be able to come to me without fear, and I should be able to come to you without fear—because we’re not trying to meet an impossible standard. We’re simply living as beloved children of God.

If you serve in ministry—a pastor’s wife, pastor, small group leader, Bible study teacher—this can feel even harder. There’s a real (or sometimes imagined) pressure to appear perfect in front of those you serve. I’ve felt that too.

Let me encourage you: don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Don’t carry the weight of perfection on your shoulders. As you bear the burdens of others, also allow others to bear yours. That’s not weakness—it’s obedience.

When we do this, letting this burden sharing happen on both sides, we’re not just helping each other. We’re fulfilling the law of Christ. Let’s be the kind of people who carry each other’s burdens. Let’s create spaces where it’s safe to be honest, where grace and love flow freely, and where no one has to fear rejection.

We don’t have to be perfect to be loved—by God or by each other. And when we live that way, we fulfill the very law of Christ: to love one another as He has loved us. What a treasure that is! <3

There’s a saying floating around in the self-help world: “Do it scared.”

It’s catchy. It’s inspiring. And it’s a whole lot easier said than done.

When fear shows up, our first instinct is often to stop, freeze, or retreat. We imagine that in order to move forward, we have to first get rid of the fear. Know this: fear isn’t always a stop sign. Fear can be an indicator that we’re stepping into something bigger than ourselves.

Almost every time God says “do not fear” in Scripture, He couples it with a promise of His presence:

• “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.” (Isaiah 41:10)
• “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’” (Isaiah 41:13)
• “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” (Psalm 23:4)
• “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear…” (Psalm 46:1–3)
• “Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you.” (Deuteronomy 3:22)
• “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified… for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
• “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)

We sometimes imagine fear as a weakness or a flaw, but Jesus understands fear intimately. Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that He experienced every emotion we do—without sin. He knows what it feels like to be pressed by uncertainty, threatened by danger, and pulled into the tension of “this is hard, but I must obey.” Fear is human.

Remember the Garden of Gethsemane? Jesus prayed in deep distress, fully aware of the suffering to come, and still He walked forward in obedience. That’s not the absence of fear—that’s courage grounded in the Father’s will.

Maybe “do it scared” isn’t about pushing through in our own strength while fear gnaws at the edges of our courage. Maybe it’s about doing it with fear… Not fear/scared but fear/confidence in the Lord. The kind of confidence that says, “Yes, my heart is racing, but my God is here. My knees might be shaking, but my Savior’s hand is holding mine. I may tremble, but His promises will not.”

Vulnerable moment: I get scared sometimes. I can be full of faith and still feel the thump of anxiety in my chest. (Okay, to be really honest - I feel it in my stomach - that kind of dropping, didn't finish my homework, might throw up kind of feeling). I’ve learned that I can hold fear and faith together, the way I’ve held joy and grief at the same time. Sometimes I can switch from fear scared to fear confident in the Lord as quickly as flipping off a light. Fortunately, when the light in my soul flickers off, the Holy Spirit is there to switch it back on. Every time.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t shame us for feeling fear. He simply displays the truth again and again—reminding us of God’s promises, steadying our breath, whispering the courage of Scripture into our hearts. In that light that He switched back on for me, I can do anything He’s called me to do. Not because fear is gone, but because His presence is greater.

And you can, too.

When David wrote Psalm 23:4—“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil”—he didn’t deny that the valley existed. He didn’t minimize the shadows. He simply placed the reality of God’s presence above the reality of danger.

That’s what “do it scared” looks like for a believer: not blind bravado, not pretending fear doesn’t exist, but taking the next step because the Lord is with us.

Every time we take that step, something happens: fear loses just a little more of its grip. Faith grows a little stronger. We start to see God’s fingerprints not just on the moments when we felt brave, but on the trembling moments when we leaned on Him most.

If you’re standing at the edge of something right now—something that feels risky, uncomfortable, or overwhelming—here’s a prayer for you:

Lord, You know my fears. You know how my heart races when I think about what lies ahead. Thank You for the reminder that You never leave my side. Give me courage to take the next step, not because I feel strong, but because You are my strength. Let Your presence be more real to me than my fear. In Jesus’ name, amen.

You don’t have to wait until you “feel” ready. You don’t have to wait for the fear to disappear. If God has called you, He’s already promised to go with you. Take the step. Make the call. Start the project. Have the conversation. You aren't alone, and moving forward in the knowledge that God has you on every side is a treasure <3

This morning, as I went through my usual routine, I noticed something written on the bottle of my face wash: “targets 100% of daily pollution.” It caught my eye, but not for the reason the marketing team probably intended. I paused and thought, “That phrase actually means nothing.”

Sure, it targets 100%—but does it actually hit 100%? “Targeting” doesn’t guarantee success. It doesn’t even necessarily imply effort. I can target anything all day long and never come close to actually hitting it. I’m sure when I bought that face wash, I read the label and thought, “Oh okay, 100%,” trusted it blindly and moved on without a second thought. We’ve gotten so used to empty phrases that we barely notice them anymore.

I thought about that phrase through the morning. Later, as I tossed a load of laundry into the washer, I realized that I don’t even question whether the clothes will come out clean. I trust that the detergent will do its job. I don’t second-guess the rinse cycle. I just press “start” and walk away in full confidence that it’s going to work. Again, I wondered: what else do I trust in blindly?

It’s a silly question at first glance, but really… do I have more immediate confidence in man-made systems and mass-produced products than I do in the very words of God?

In our world, we’re constantly bombarded by words that sound important but lack substance. Commercials, slogans, political speeches, even everyday conversations—so much of what we hear is padded with fluff and exaggeration. Our culture has become comfortable with over-promising and under-delivering. Without realizing it, we start to read everything with a filter of skepticism.

But this can never be applied to God's words. Our casually adopted skepticism or blind trust don't belong here when we open our Bibles.

To be honest, Jesus said some things that are so big and bold that they could be hard to believe at times, but every word is true!

• He IS our Healer. (Isaiah 53:5)
• He IS our Intercessor. (Romans 8:34)
• He IS our Best Friend. (John 15:15)
• He IS our Savior. (Luke 2:11)
• He IS our High Priest who understands both our deepest pain and our greatest joy. (Hebrews 4:15)

Beyond being true, He invites us to question, understand, and know. We don't have to look at the label and say "oh, He'll heal" as if it is a casual phrase with no meaning. These aren’t just poetic phrases or theological vocabulary. These are realities. They’re promises backed by the character of a God who cannot lie (Titus 1:2). Jesus doesn’t just target our needs—He fulfills them. He doesn’t aim vaguely in our direction—He comes close and delivers every single time. Sure, you can trust Him blindly, that's no problem. Unlike the person who wrote "targets 100% of daily pollution" and hopes you buy it without question (like I did!), God asks us to test Him, taste and see that He is good. What a comfort it is to have the promise, understand the promise, be able to stand in it and understand it as you see His word come alive and come to pass in your own life.

Here are a couple of favorites, invitations from the Lord to not only trust Him but also understand Him:

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!" Psalm 34:8

"....Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing...." Malachi 3:10

One more today: Psalm 130:6 says, “My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning—yes, more than those who watch for the morning.”

Those who “watch for the morning” are the night guards, the sentries on duty before dawn. They’ve spent hours in the dark, and they know the morning is coming. They don’t wonder if the sun will rise—they know it will. Their waiting is filled with anticipation, not doubt. The psalmist says his soul waits for the Lord even more than that. The psalmist is more convinced that God will show up in his life than he is that the sun will rise in the morning.

Are we that convinced? We can be. Because unlike the world’s empty words and broken promises, the words of God are always reliable, always true. Numbers 23:19 reminds us:

“God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?”

Everything God has said, He will do. Every word He’s spoken, He will keep. His truth is more constant than the sunrise and more dependable than any product or process you’ve ever trusted.

So what do we do with this?

First, we learn to take God at His Word. We read Scripture and believe it. Not as poetry or philosophy, but as living truth. If He says He is near to the brokenhearted, He is. If He says He’ll never leave us, He won’t. If He says His grace is sufficient, it is.

Second, we let His faithfulness shape the way we speak. Jesus said in Matthew 5:37, “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no,’ ‘no.’ Anything more than this comes from the evil one.”

If we are children of God, then our words should carry weight, too. No fluff, no exaggeration, no glossing over promises we don’t intend to keep. We reflect the heart of God when our words are trustworthy—when what we say actually means something.

I encourage you to look at the words of the Lord not like you look at a marketing label, but like you look at the sunrise: unchanging, trustworthy, certain. More certain than the day itself.

Jesus can be trusted. More powerful than any product. More dependable than the sun. Let His truth bring you confidence and peace. No matter where you are in the waiting - whether it is for the sun to rise or the season to change, confidence in the Lord is a treasure <3

Spiritual friendship is not just “nice to have” in the Christian life—it’s essential.

"Two are better than one... If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10

Have you ever hesitated to reach out to someone, afraid of being rejected or misunderstood? Maybe you saw someone at church who looked a little lonely, or a mom at the park who seemed like she might want a chat. You thought, “I should go say something”, but then quickly talked yourself out of it…. Let’s be honest—friendship on its own can feel risky, but being the one to make the effort ups the risk for sure. 

Let’s start with the obvious: initiating friendship feels vulnerable. You don’t know how you’ll be received. You risk feeling awkward, ignored, or even rejected. In our social-media-saturated world, it’s easy to stay in our own bubble, where we scroll, like, and comment without ever truly engaging.

From the beginning, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). While that verse speaks to marriage, the principle really is broader. We are created for connection. Scripture is full of examples of deep, godly friendships: David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Paul and Timothy, Jesus and His disciples.

Still, we hesitate.

We tell ourselves lies like:

• She probably has enough friends already.
• What if she thinks I’m too much?
• I don’t want to come across as needy.
• I’ve been burned before—I’m not doing that again.

All of those fears are valid—but fear doesn’t get to have the final say. When it comes to godly friendship, the return on investment is greater than we can imagine. God's best for you happens in community; it's the enemy of your soul who wants you in isolation.

Jesus Himself modeled what it means to initiate relationship - we talked about this on the blog a few weeks ago.  Check it out here if you missed it!

Jesus invited Himself over. Jesus made the first move. If the Son of God was willing to reach across social barriers, awkward situations, and the opinions of others to extend friendship, shouldn’t we be willing to do the same? The truth is, anything worthwhile involves some level of risk, and that includes friendship.

Friendship doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not something we stumble into—it’s something we choose to build. Like any investment, it requires intentionality, time, and sacrifice.

I loved morning car rides with my children on the way to school when they were small many years ago. There were a couple of verses that were on the usual rotation, and one that was repeated often was Proverbs 18:24. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” That’s not just a cute quote—it’s a reminder that friendships grow when we’re willing to plant seeds.  

Sometimes those seeds look like:

• Sending the first text.
• Asking someone to grab coffee.
• Sitting next to someone new at church.
• Starting a conversation, even when you feel awkward.

Prepare yourself: not every seed grows into a deep friendship. Some fade. Some were only meant for a season. However, some grow roots so deep that they strengthen your faith, bring you joy, and sharpen you into the person God is calling you to be. Those kinds of roots bring forth good fruit, friends who will:

• Speak truth when we’re tempted to believe lies
• Pray for us when we don’t have the words
• Celebrate our victories and mourn our losses
• Keep us accountable and point us back to Christ
• Lift us up when we feel down

That kind of friendship doesn’t just happen. It starts with someone being brave enough to go first.

Here’s the thing: you’re not the only one longing for connection. That woman you keep thinking about inviting to coffee? She might be praying for someone like you. The young mom sitting by herself at small group? She may be hoping someone notices her.

Someone is waiting for you to be bold. Not perfect. Just willing.

This week, take a step toward friendship. Plant the seeds. Show yourself friendly.

• Send the text. 
• Invite the person. 
• Sit next to someone new. 
• Smile first. 
• Speak up. 
• Be the one who reaches out.

Are you nervous or unsure? That's okay, don't let those feelings stop you. Friendship built on faith, truth, and love is worth every bit of risk and effort. Remember that Jesus made the first move toward us. He came close. He extended His hand. Let’s follow His lead.

Godly friendship is a treasure - but many times you have to make an effort to enjoy it's benefits!

p.s. I’m continuing this discussion on the podcast this week! New episode will drop on Thursday. Subscribe on Youtube, Spotify or Apple Podcasts this week so we can connect again! Here’s the link tree so we can connect!

Paul encourages Titus (and by extension, us) in Titus 1:15: “To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled”. 

“To the pure all things are pure”, I love that.  I think it means that I can find Jesus and joy in everything,  Purity in heart could be the lens through which we view everything. Using that perspective, I’ll share a little something: 

Antoine De Saint Expury wrote a book in 1943 entitled “The Little Prince”. It’s one of my favorites (and no, its not a "Christian" title - this is a to-the-pure-all-things-are-pure-situation, remember?).  Every great once in a while, I’ll take it out and read it all in one sitting, all by myself, preferably on the favorite spot on my back porch, lake view and solitude. I love the language, I love the story, I love the illustrations. I don’t highlight it and underline, but maybe I should - I love the little life lessons! Here’s one that stands out today:

“It’s a question of discipline,” the little prince told me later on. “When you’ve finished your own washing and dressing in the morning, then it is time to attend to the washing and dressing of your planet, just so, with the greatest care.  You must see to it that you pull up regularly all the baobabs, at the very first moment when they can be distinguished from the rose-bushes which they resemble so closely in their earliest youth.  It is very tedious work,” the little prince added, “but very important….. Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day. But when it is a matter of baobabs, that always means a catastrophe.”

Let that sink in for a minute: "It is very tedious work, but very important."

Solomon 2:15 communicates something similar in a different way: "Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, For our vines have tender grapes."

This isn't a "one and done" situation. Solomon's little foxes, like the little prince's baobabs, had to be tended to daily. The "little foxes" were things that seemed small, until they were allowed to get out of control. The "little foxes" are things in our own lives that we might ignore or gloss over or get to another day until we don't get to them at all.

"Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day. But when it is a matter of baobabs, that always means a catastrophe.”

Sometimes a delay isn't harmful. Y'all know I practice Sabbath (you should too! I wrote about it here), I practice a "rule of life" (hey, let's talk about that one soon!), and there are times in life when we need a rest. Life happens sometimes, things get delayed sometimes, but these interruptions or surprises should be the exception, not the norm.

What are "little foxes" for you? What are things in your life that you should tend to daily? My suggestion is that you include spiritual foundational disciplines: Prayer, Giving and Service, Bible Study, Church Attendance, Worship, Sabbath, Spiritual Friendships, Love, Operating in the Fruit of the Spirit, Fasting.... Your vines have "tender grapes", the little prince's planet was small, ignoring the foxes and the baobabs always means a catastrophe. Maybe not at first - it might take you a little time to realize that you have lost your "first love", but that's how the enemy of your soul operates. Slowly, subtly, a drift so gradual that you fail to notice that you are slipping away.

It's a question of discipline, tending to these daily practices. The beautiful thing is: when you cultivate these habits, your love for the Lord will grow. You will be drawn closer to His heart. These daily disciplines will anchor your love for God, and guess what? The "little foxes" and the "baobabs" won't stand a chance!

Even if it seems tedious at times, that's a treasure!

Last week, I asked a question: “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9). It wasn’t a question of physical location, but of spiritual alignment. Are you where God has called you to be—not just geographically, but emotionally, spiritually, mentally?

This week, let’s go one step deeper. Let’s not just ask, “Where are you?”—let’s reflect on why it matters. Here’s the truth:

God’s blessing doesn’t come to where you are. God’s blessing comes to where you are supposed to be.

That might sound a little unsettling at first. After all, wouldn’t a loving God meet us right where we are?

The answer is a resounding YES! He absolutely does meet us with mercy, grace, and compassion right where we are. However, when it comes to purpose, provision, and blessing, the Word of God shows us a consistent pattern: His best is released in the place of obedience.

Psalm 37:23 tells us, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” (Sorry, I reverted to the KJV for a sec there, it’s a familiarity thing for me!)  Here’s the NLT: "The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives."

Let that sink in: your steps are ordered. That means every twist, every turn, every detour that didn’t make sense—God has a plan for it. But there’s a catch. If steps are ordered, then there’s a direction we’re expected to walk in. And if we veer off that path—due to fear, disobedience, or comfort—we may find ourselves out of sync with the very blessings we’ve been praying for.

How about Jonah? God gave him clear instructions: Go to Nineveh. Instead, Jonah ran the other way, boarding a ship to Tarshish. Jonah didn’t lose his calling—he lost his footing. With his disobedience came consequences: a violent storm, a frightened crew, and a three-day stay in the belly of a great fish.

Why? Because God’s provision was never in Tarshish. The miracle Jonah was called to be part of was waiting in Nineveh.

Too often, we make decisions based on what feels good or what looks safe. But comfort is not confirmation. Just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it’s God. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not God.

Being in the right place doesn’t always feel pleasant—but it’s always worth it. The question is: Are you where God told you to go, or are you where it’s comfortable? God’s purpose isn’t passive. It’s positioned. It calls us to move, to shift, to step out—even when it’s scary or inconvenient. Sometimes, the place we want to be is not the place we’re supposed to be. Do not make the mistake of allowing your comfort to compete with your calling.

In 1 Kings 17, we meet the prophet Elijah in a time of severe drought. God speaks to him and says:

“Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there.” (1 Kings 17:3–4, NIV)

God doesn’t just say, “I’ll take care of you.” He gives Elijah a very specific instruction—go there. Why? Because that’s where the blessing is. That’s where the provision has been appointed. If Elijah had stayed put or gone his own way, he would have missed the miracle. The provision was real. The blessing was ready. But it was tied to the location that Elijah would arrive at through obedience.

Sometimes, we wait for God to bless us in the wrong place. We want breakthrough without obedience. We want favor without surrender. God’s blessing isn’t random—it’s relational. It’s unlocked when we walk with Him in trust and obedience.

Hebrews 11 is full of people who were blessed because they moved:

• Abraham left everything familiar to go to a land God would show him—and became the father of many nations.
• Moses walked away from Pharaoh’s palace and into a wilderness of uncertainty—only to become the leader of a great exodus.
• Ruth left Moab and followed Naomi into Bethlehem—where she stepped into divine legacy and became part of the lineage of Jesus.

They all had one thing in common: they didn’t stay where it was easy. They followed God into the unknown. And because of that, they stepped into destiny.

Let’s circle back to the original question: where are you?

Not just in the physical sense—but in your obedience, in your faith, in your surrender. Are you waiting for God to bless a place He never sent you? Are you asking Him to show up in a situation you weren’t called to?

If so, maybe it’s time to shift. Not out of shame or guilt—but out of love and invitation. God’s not trying to punish you, He’s trying to position you.

The goal is not to be just anywhere. The goal is to be in the center of His will. Perfectly positioned, surrendered, expectant. God is faithful to provide for His purpose. His purpose is always found in the place He calls you to be.

Here are a few reflection questions to take to prayer:

1. Am I currently in a place of obedience, or just a place of comfort?
2. What instructions has God given me that I’ve delayed or ignored?
3. Where have I been asking God to bless my plan instead of following His?
4. What step do I need to take today to move toward obedience?

You don’t have to have all the answers. Let's just purpose to take the next right step.

Remember: the blessing of the Lord is not where you are, it’s where you’re supposed to be - and finding yourself in that sweet spot, ready to receive it? That’s a treasure!

When we were children, friendship and community seemed easier, didn’t it? We were in school together, when you had a deskmate or someone who shared your seat on the bus, 8 year olds could be pretty simple. (Well, at least when I was an 8 year old, life was simpler - not sure if it's simple for the 8 year old in 2025!). However, as adults, we have to make more of an effort.  Godly friendship doesn’t happen by accident!

One of my friends and I laugh often about how we became close.  She had moved to a new city, and I thought, “she needs me” - so I called her up and said, “Hey!  I’m coming to sleep over at your house!” I called another friend and said, “Hey - we are going to a sleepover!  Get packed!” LOL!  Today, we are still BFFs, and we still laugh about that story!  

You might be thinking, "I could never!”. I know - it sounds embarrassing, but this is not without precedent. You know who did this way before I did?  

“When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, ‘Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.”  So Zacchaeus came down at once and welcomed Jesus gladly.” Luke 19:5-6 NIV

(Anyone else singing the children’s song in your head right now?  “Zacchaeus, you come down!  For I’m going to your house today! I’m going to your house today!”)

To be honest, at the moment of that phone call when I invited myself over, we weren’t really that kind of friends yet. The Holy Spirit, in His kindness, allowed me to see a need - and it turns out that it was a need I had in my life too.  The result is one of my most treasured friendships!

Okay, so you don’t have to cold-call people to get friends, LOL!  However, the faith journey should not be a solo one.  God’s idea is for us to be in families and in community - He was the one who said, “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). The enemy of your soul wants you isolated - don’t fall into that trap.  

A few tips for you:

• Be Vulnerable: Let others see the real you. Friendship grows in the soil of authenticity.
• Make Time: Busy-ness is one of the greatest threats to community. Prioritize people over productivity.
• Pray Together: Shared prayer deepens bonds like nothing else. Make prayer a regular part of your friendships.
• Speak Life: Be generous with encouragement, grace, and affirmation.
• Pursue Reconciliation: Conflict is inevitable, but godly friendship chooses forgiveness over offense.

Friendship is not just emotional support—it’s a spiritual discipline. When we surround ourselves with godly companions, we position ourselves to hear God more clearly, walk more faithfully, and live more fully.

Don’t wait for friendship to find you. Sow seeds of intentionality, vulnerability, and prayer. Water them with consistency and grace. Trust that God, in His perfect timing, will surround you with the kind of friends who make you more like Him. I have found that this effort is worth it, and I have been blessed with godly friendships in my life. Today, I want to encourage you to make that investment! You will find it to be a treasure <3 

p.s. I'm continuing this discussion on the podcast this week! New episode will drop on Thursday. Subscribe on Youtube, Spotify or Apple Podcasts this week so we can connect again! Here's the link tree so we can connect!