There is a unique kind of heaviness that settles over the heart when you are “in the middle” of a difficult season. You know God is faithful. You know restoration will come. You know the end of the story will be good because the Author is good. That doesn’t mean that today isn’t tough.  That doesn’t mean that being “in the middle” isn’t a hard place. Check out the first and second in this "in the middle" series and let's get started!

I was trying to explain this to a friend the other day, about my own “in the middle” moment.  Imagine it this way: your house has just burned down.  You are sitting on your knees across the street looking at the ashes and rubble. You’ve already been told the insurance will cover everything. You know a rebuild is coming. However, at this moment, you are grieving. You liked that house.  You liked that stuff.  Better is coming, but for now you’re living in the space between the loss and the restoration, between the breaking and the rebuilding. The insurance agent has promised: the check is in the mail. That’s a valid spot to be in, an emotional spot to be in, even when you know it’s going to be okay, between looking at ashes and cashing that check.

In that vulnerable middle place, God can begin to correct, shape, and grow us. His heart is always for our best, even on days that feel hard in our limited judgement (and our judgement is limited - let’s put a bookmark there and talk about this on another day).

Why God’s Correction Feels Threatening

Even when we believe God is good, His correction might feel sharp when we’re already hurting. Job experienced this. In the midst of unimaginable loss, he wrestled with big questions and deep frustrations. When God finally spoke, His words didn’t condemn—but they did confront.

Correction can feel threatening for a few reasons. Maybe we fear that it means we’ve done something wrong. Maybe we worry God is disappointed in us. Maybe in this moment, we’re already fragile, and anything that feels like pressure can feel overwhelming.

Hear His heart for you.  God is not angry, God is not disappointed, God is not done with you.  He loves those He corrects, remember? (Hebrews 12:6-11) When God speaks, let’s lean in.

Listening Without Defensiveness

One of the most sacred disciplines in the middle season is learning to listen to God without defending ourselves. Pain often makes us want to justify ourselves - but  God, in His kindness, invites us to open our hands and hearts instead.

Job shows us what this looks like. Even in his grief, he asked God honest, raw questions:

• “Why did I not perish at birth?” (Job 3:11)
• “Why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul?” (Job 3:20)
• “Why do You hide Your face and count me as Your enemy?” (Job 13:23)
• “Why do the wicked live on, growing old and increasing in power?” (Job 21:7)
• “How can a man be righteous before God?” (Job 4:17)
• “If a man dies, will he live again?” (Job 14:14)
• “Oh, that I knew where I might find Him, that I might come to His seat! I would present my case before Him…” (Job 23:3–4)

God didn’t shy away from Job’s questions. In chapters 38–41, He responds.  He doesn’t condemn, He reminds Job of His power, wisdom, and the larger story beyond Job’s understanding. God’s answers are gentle yet firm: trust His design, lean on His wisdom, and recognize His sovereignty even in the middle of confusion and pain.

Humility in the middle doesn’t mean silence. It means asking hard questions, listening carefully, and allowing God’s correction and guidance to shape us—even when we don’t see the full picture yet.

Responding Practically When God Brings a Hard Truth

Sometimes God’s correction comes through Scripture, prayer, or through the Holy Spirit’s gentle conviction.

Here are a few ways to respond:

• Pause before reacting, because correction is not rejection. Let God finish the sentence before you jump in to defend or excuse.
• Surrender instead of resisting, because correction is not condemnation. Say to God, “If this is from You, I will yield to it”. 
• Stay rooted in grace, because correction is one of the ways God shapes us for the restoration He has already planned.

Reflection Questions for Your Middle Season

There are a couple of questions  I love to ask the Lord in my own in-the-middle seasons or on my tough days: 

“What aspect of Your character do You want to reveal to me in this?” 

“What is it that You want to be for me today that You were unable to be to me yesterday?” 

Not that there was ever a moment when God was limited - but perhaps I didn’t know what I needed.  I didn’t know I needed a provider until my need was revealed.  I didn’t know that I needed a healer until I had the negative diagnosis. I didn’t know I needed a shepherd until I felt lost. When those missing pieces were exposed, God’s character was revealed and I grew closer to Him. From that perspective, the in-the-middle moments are so valuable to our growth.

God answers those questions so faithfully every time.  He is right there in the middle with me.  He is right there in the middle with you.  

Once again, we are leaving Job in the middle!  Let’s continue this conversation again next week on the blog and on the podcast - I hope you’ll join me for this conversation next week as we continue talking about the value of our own in-the-middle days.  It’s such a joy and honor to connect with you!

I hope I didn’t present Job’s friends as the picture of healthy godly friendships – they made some mistakes, as we all do.  However, Job did keep them around.  That’s a lesson in itself, isn’t it?  We don’t get “done” with people, even though seasons may change. We can learn a lot of lessons from Job's friends. (you've heard the saying, "Sometimes there's a blessing, sometimes there's a lesson" - let's take the lesson from Job's friends today!)

If you didn’t read last week’s blog post, better catch up here. Come right back after you read it and let’s continue this conversation!

Job’s friends get a bad rap, but I honestly think that they meant well, and there are even lots of words they say that are true –

“God is famous for great and unexpected acts; there’s no end to His surprises” 5:9

“what a blessing when God steps in and corrects you” 5:17

“Does God mess up? Does God Almighty ever get things backward?” 8:2

“God will set everything right again, reestablish your fortunes” 8:6

“God is far higher than you can imagine, far deeper than you can comprehend” 11:7

I do think the friends mean well, but it is almost as if they are speaking without the experience of deep pain.  They want to point out God’s goodness, but then immediately connect Job’s troubles to Job’s behavior. They cannot seem to understand why these things would happen when a God whom they know as good is on the throne.  They’ve got to explain it away by calling Job’s test a punishment. It’s as if they want to plug God into a “if you’ll do this, He’ll do that” formula, but life isn’t that simple.

This is my opinion, but I wonder if Job’s friends tried to explain God in this way to protect themselves.  Their theology did not leave space for struggle or grief. In their experience, if you were “good”, then God protected you and these things didn’t happen. Seeing Job in this situation had to punch a hole in that for them - “if this could happen to Job, it could happen to us… No, it must be that Job did something wrong and made God angry…. Job, just repent and get your life back….” That was the “safer” explanation. 

We make these same mistakes in our ministry, leadership and friendships today sometimes. Job’s friends do a few things wrong here: 

• they jumped to conclusions without considering the full scope or hearing the whole story - their conclusion was that Job must have sinned, and that his present circumstances were a punishment 
• they over-spiritualized Job’s pain, turning a moment that called for compassion into a lecture on morality
• they assumed insight without asking questions, without asking clarifying questions or seeking to understand his experience

What was needed in the moment for Job was presence.  He needed the comfort of a friend more than he needed answers or solutions for his situation, and they moved too quickly. 

There’s a reason Scripture calls us to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). It’s not just about sympathy—it’s about entering someone’s sorrow long enough to reflect the compassion of Christ. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is simply sit still beside someone who’s hurting. When we show up with listening ears and a soft heart, we mirror the gentleness of Jesus, who never rushed people through their pain but met them right in the middle of it.

In leadership and ministry, this takes humility. It’s not easy to resist the urge to fix, explain, or quote a verse that ties everything up neatly. But real friendship and godly care don’t demand resolution—they offer presence. When we slow down long enough to listen, we are communicating, “You’re not alone. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m staying.” That kind of love ministers more healing than any well-meaning advice ever could. Job's friends did stay - let's give them credit for that!

When leaders move too quickly, we risk replacing empathy with advice, and presence with analysis. True ministry begins with careful listening, humility, and the patience to let God’s truth unfold rather than rushing to conclusions. Job’s friends missed an opportunity to minister peace to Job in his troubles. How painful it must have been for Job to listen to this as he grieved.

Sometimes friends are trying to help, and don’t know how to do it – forgive them.  Sometimes friends don’t know how to help, so they ignore the situation (and possibly you) altogether – forgive them. Don’t shy away from relationship, using past hurts as an excuse.  Trust that the relationship will give you the opportunity to grow, and the Lord will fill in the blanks.  Even when there must be a loss of relationship (sometimes it must be), trust Jesus to give you the continuity of community that you desire.

For now, Job is still in the middle. I want to hang out until we see his restoration, don’t you?  Let’s come together on Thursday as we continue this conversation on the podcast, and come back to the blog next week as we continue this series on the blog!

I wrote this blog post about 7 years ago, but today I wanted to re-visit and add to it. I think we'll have a little series on the "in the middle" times that we all face in life. I'm in an "in the middle" myself - hard things happen, and also I know that God has a great plan. I'm in the middle of it! Maybe you can relate!

I know it's strange to say, but Job really is one of my favorites. 🙂 I was thinking this morning about how LONG the dialogue between Job and his friends continued.  Maybe I should rephrase: Job allowed his friends' diatribe against him to go on for a really long time (chapters and chapters and chapters!).  Not sure I would have sat there for that (I would have struggled, I'm sorry to admit!). However, Job didn't end the relationship with his friends.  Since he allowed them a front row seat to his troubles, they also had a front row seat to his restoration.  What a gift it must have been, to be able to see that season come full circle. If you are a ministry leader, invited trusted friends in may feel risky - but it positions you for greater restoration and depth.

Job could have left his friends at their first criticism and no one would have blamed him. But he stayed.  Because we often don't know how to handle confrontation, we often run at the first cross word.  However, this is oftentimes a wrong response.  Here's my balancing comment: for the next little bit, please understand that I am talking about close friendships with like-minded people.

A true friend is someone who should have the earned privilege of speaking truth into your life - and you should have the earned privilege of speaking truth into theirs.  Relationship gives you the opportunity to let "iron sharpen iron" (Proverbs 27:17), a mutual benefit to godly relationship.  King David insists that correction from a friend is a kindness: “Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. Let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it” (Psalm 141:5).  To be honest, correction is not optional—it’s a gift when given and received well.

Please make this important distinction: a difference of opinion doesn’t mean disloyalty; it means growth when handled with grace. There are times when correction is necessary, even helpful.  David even considered correction an act of loyalty. There are times when friends disagree - and that's okay.  When I was the pastor's wife in our church, I watch it happen time and again: friends disagree, and rather than hanging in there together, they allow a difference of opinion to drive a wedge.  Couldn't you have a difference of opinion, discuss, continue to respect each other, and continue to move forward? Most of the time we can; but most of the time we don't.

Grace is required to give godly correction - even more grace is required to receive godly correction. By allowing a wedge form over a correction, you are also cutting yourself off from the wisdom and opportunities for growth that the Lord means for your godly friendship.  The Bible says that "the wounds of a friend are faithful" (Proverbs 27:6), meaning that truth from a friend is to be desired, even if it hurts at first.

You cannot be EFFECTIVE in relationships without being AFFECTED. Feel all the feels - but don't let a godly relationship (and the growth that can come from it) end unnecessarily. Don't shy away from relationships, using confrontation as an excuse. You cannot lead or influence in ministry without being changed yourself. Let the wounds of a friend be faithful in you.

A new thought: Job's friends were harder on him than they had to be. There's a reason for it, there's a grace for it, and you and I are going to visit about them next week. While we wait for part two, maybe a little thought: sometimes you are the one who is "in-between", maybe it's your friend who is "in-between". Sometimes what is needed is someone who will simply sit in the ashes with you and say, "Man, it's tough, huh? I love you and I'm praying. What kind of day is today? Do you need a faith-filled-hype-speech (because I have one!) or do you need a gentle and quiet arm wrapped around your shoulder (because I can do that too!)?" Be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and to the heart of your friend. Hopefully they will be sensitive to you in return, when you are the one who is "in-between".

Learning that you can go through it and grow through it together is a treasure. I'm praying that you have and maintain these kind of blessing friendships in your life <3

Job's friends are a whole 'nother story - let's visit about them next week and get a little more balance to this conversation! Join me on the podcast on Thursday, and join me again on the blog next Tuesday - let's review together and add a little new insight for a new day as well! Love y'all!

Jennifer 🙂

Have you ever heard someone say things like: 

• “Just saying.”
• “No offense, but…”
• “Don’t shoot the messenger.”
• “Somebody had to say it.”

These often come after a blunt or critical comment.  It’s a signal to the listener: “I know this might sound harsh, but I’m not taking responsibility for how it lands”.

How about any of these: 

• “I’m just being real.”
• “It’s real talk.”
• “Just being honest.”

These sound authentic but can hide a pride in bluntness — as if harsh honesty is more righteous than gracious speech. 

How about these:

• “I’m speaking the truth.”
• “I call it like I see it.”
• “I’m speaking the truth in love.”

Maybe these can sound biblical or courageous, but often this form of "truth" becomes a weapon instead of a witness when love and humility are missing.

We like to say we’re “just speaking the truth in love”. It sounds spiritual, doesn’t it? But far too often, what we call truth is really just our opinion, our frustration, or even our insecurity dressed up in spiritual language.

When you look closely, each of these phrases reveals something about the heart behind the words. Sometimes what we call “honesty” isn’t really about helping others — it’s about protecting or possibly promoting ourselves.

Biblical truth-telling always begins with humility and love. When Jesus spoke truth, it wasn’t to win an argument or prove a point — it was to heal, restore, and redeem. Real truth-telling isn’t about getting something off our chest; it’s about getting Christ’s heart into the conversation.

Here’s the thing — if our words don’t lift someone up, point them back to Jesus, or remind them of who they are in Christ, we’re not actually speaking truth. Truth isn’t harsh or condemning. 

When Paul talked about “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15), he wasn’t giving us permission to correct others harshly. He was reminding us to call one another up — to remind each other of the reality of who we are as sons and daughters of God.

Here’s the truth:

• We are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
• We are chosen, holy, and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12).
• We are God’s workmanship, created for good works He prepared in advance for us (Ephesians 2:10).

Truth spoken in love calls others up into their identity. It reminds them of who they are — chosen, redeemed, and dearly loved.  If what we’re saying to someone else doesn’t lift them toward Christ or reflect their identity in Christ, then we are not speaking the truth in love. 

When we “speak the truth in love,” it should sound like the heart of Jesus. He never used truth to shame or silence people. He used truth to set them free, to restore dignity, and to remind them of their worth in the Father’s eyes.

When we carry this same heart into our ministry, our words begin to heal instead of harm. Our presence becomes safe instead of stressful. Our leadership reflects Christ instead of competing for attention. 

Why is this important?  What does this have to do with not competing? 

When we’re rooted in our identity in Christ,  competition loses its grip. 

When competition loses its grip, we are empowered to celebrate/support the giftings of those around us without fear.  When competition loses its grip, we are empowered to speak the actual truth to others without fear of lack for ourselves. 

Serving From Insecurity

When we serve from insecurity, everything starts to feel like a competition. We notice who’s being recognized and who’s not. We feel threatened by others’ gifts or intimidated by their confidence, but our calling is not a contest.  

We have an unfortunate biblical example of this in Haman, from the book of Esther. Let’s not skip the history lesson today, want to come along with me? Here we go:

In Esther 5, Haman is invited to dinner with Queen Esther and King Ahasuerus, so: 

“Haman went out that day joyful and with a glad heart” 5:9a

However, his good mood wasn’t to last - as soon as he begins his walk home, he sees Mordecai:  

 “but when Haman saw Mordecai in the king’s gate, and that he did not stand or tremble before him, he was filled with indignation against Mordecai.” 5:9

Why?  Why is Haman “filled with indignation” against Mordecai?  Haman has been invited to the palace for an intimate dinner with the king and queen, what does Mordecai have to do with this? Haman is being honored, and another man is adjacent.  Why can’t Haman let it go?  Why did Haman even take notice and waste mental energy on a Jew sitting at the king’s gate? The definition of indignation is “anger or annoyance provoked by what is perceived as unfair treatment”, which makes this make even less sense. 

“Nevertheless Haman restrained himself and went home and he sent and called for his friends and his wife Zeresh. Then Haman told them of his great riches, the multitude of his children, everything in which the king had promoted him, and how he had advanced him above the officials and servants of the king. Moreover Haman said, “Besides, Queen Esther invited no one but me to come in with the king to the banquet that she prepared; and tomorrow I am again invited by her, along with the king. “ 5:10-12

We aren’t surprised that Haman makes this story all about himself, to be honest, I’m a little relieved that he didn’t even mention Mordecai.  He had a great opportunity to take the high road and leave his “indignation” behind here.  Just drop it, Haman, this has nothing to do with you. 

Not so fast - here’s where Haman goes south:

“Let all this avails me nothing, so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate.” 5:13

So, all of this is worthless because Mordecai exists? A little dramatic, don’t you think?  Hopefully his wife will help him out: 

“Then his wife Zeresh and all his friends said to him, ‘Let a gallows be made, fifty cubits high, and in the morning suggest to the king that Mordecai be hanged on it; then go merrily with the king to the banquet’. ” And the thing pleased Haman; so he had the gallows made.” 5:14

Or maybe she won’t…..

They say bad company ruins good morals, but Hamam was already at the bottom of the barrel here.  His wife and friends push him down further.  Take Mordecai down, they say.  You know how I interpret this advice?  I think this is Haman’s wife saying to him, “Haman, you’ve gone as high as you can go. You can’t grow, you can’t go any higher, you have reached your capacity.  The only way to make yourself look good is to make others look bad.  If anyone comes close to you, kick them down - then at least you’ll still look like you are on top.” 

How’s that for “just saying” or “I’m just being real” or “don’t shoot the messenger” or “I’m just speaking the truth in love?”

To be honest, it’s sad, and led Haman to a dark place. When you come to a point where you cannot celebrate others, where you feel indignation that someone else is “in your space”, you’ve come to a dangerous spot. Run, don’t walk, back to the Cross. These things are heavy: competition, indignation, jealousy, comparison.  You aren’t meant to carry them.  Don’t waste your energy on these. You are better than that.

 The truth is, we were never meant to compete with one another. God didn’t call us to run against each other; He called us to run with endurance in the race He’s specifically marked out for us (Hebrews 12:1).

The Truth That Frees

Let’s speak the real truth — the kind that builds the Body of Christ. Let’s be women who remind each other:

“You are chosen.”

“You are equipped.”

“You are loved.”

“You are enough in Him.”

That’s what “truth in love” sounds like.

When we serve from that truth, competition loses its power, comparison fades, and insecurity melts away. We become free — free to serve, free to love, and free to see others succeed.

In the Kingdom of God, her win is your win. Her growth strengthens your ministry. Her obedience advances the same mission you’re living for.

Let’s close this series right where we began — with a heart fully surrendered to Jesus, secure in who He says we are, and committed to building others up instead of tearing ourselves down through comparison.  If someone else is growing/succeeding/winning, that doesn’t take anything away from your growing/succeeding/winning!

You can catch up here if you want to take a look at the first, second or third in the series!

Ministry without competition begins and ends in Christ. When we know who we are, we can cheer others on - and truly speak the truth in love the way Paul intended, truly speak the truth in love in a way that honors Christ.  What a treasure!

Join me on the Connect Podcast on Youtube and let’s continue this conversation on Thursday! 

From Jethro to Moses, Moses to Joshua, Elijah to Elisha, and Paul to Timothy, we see a pattern: God’s work advances when leaders pour into others. Mentoring is not about competition—it’s about multiplication. When we invest in someone else, we’re extending Kingdom impact far beyond ourselves. You must participate in ministry without competition within the Body of Christ if you are to be successful!

Over the past few weeks ("Activate Abundance" series, choose any of those 4 posts), we’ve seen how unity in the body of Christ grows stronger when we pray for one another, encourage one another, celebrate one another, and refuse to compete with one another. I want to look at another way to build unity: mentoring. Scripture shows us again and again that God’s work thrives when one generation invests in the next, not as rivals, but as partners in Kingdom purpose.

Psalm 145:4 states, “One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts”. This is a powerful reminder to us that faith is not meant to be kept private.  Your gifts are not to be contained within a single lifetime. It’s a sacred responsibility — each generation carries the testimony of God’s goodness, passing it on so the next can run their own race with faith and confidence. When we share our stories of God’s faithfulness, we give our children and spiritual sons and daughters a foundation. Every praise we speak, every miracle we recall, every moment we testify of God’s grace becomes a seed of faith in the next generation—ensuring that His glory is never forgotten.

Let’s look at a few examples of mentorship in the Bible, examples where ministry without competition was chosen:

Jethro and Moses – Wisdom for Leadership

“Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing that you do is not good. Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself. Listen now to my voice; I will give you counsel, and God will be with you” Exodus 18:17-19)

When Moses was overwhelmed with leading the people, his father-in-law Jethro stepped in—not to take over, but to mentor him in wise leadership (Exodus 18:13–24.  Oh, how I desperately want to go into a lecture on over-functioning right now, but I’ll demonstrate some self control and stay on track!). Jethro taught Moses to delegate, raising up other leaders so he wouldn’t burn out and so that more people could receive the wisdom and guidance that they needed so badly. This moment of mentoring multiplied effectiveness and preserved Moses’ strength for the long haul.

Moses and Joshua – Preparing the Next Leader

“the Lord said to Moses: ‘Take Joshua the son of Nun with you, a man in whom is the Spirit, and lay your hand on him; set him before Eleazar the priest and before all the congregation, and inaugurate him in their sight. And you shall give some of your authority to him, that all the congregation of the children of Israel may be obedient” Numbers 27:18-20

Moses invested in Joshua by bringing him close, letting him witness leadership firsthand, and commissioning him publicly (Numbers 27:18–20; Deuteronomy 31:7–8). Moses didn’t treat Joshua as competition, but poured into him so Israel could move forward after his time was done. Look at this phrase: “that all the congregation… may be obedient” (27:20).  This mentorship, one on one, would create a huge, far-reaching impact - and we still feel this today! Joshua’s success was in large part due to Moses’ intentional mentoring. Ministry without competition - Moses wanted Joshua set up for success.

Elijah and Elisha – Passing the Mantle

“Elijah said to Elisha, “Ask! What may I do for you, before I am taken away from you?” 1 Kings 2:9

Don’t miss this: Elijah initiated the question.  Knowing that his time on earth was short (1 Kings 2:1 tells us that the Lord was about to take Elijah up to heaven), he wants to make sure that Elisha is equipped to continue the work. Feel the weight of this: Elijah has literal minutes left on earth.  We put a big emphasis on “final words”, don’t we?  These words create legacy, these words would be remembered, and Elijah uses this time to find out what else he can do for Elisha.  That’s powerful.  

Elisha followed Elijah closely, serving him and learning from him before stepping into prophetic ministry himself (1 Kings 19:19–21; 2 Kings 2:9–15). Elijah modeled bold faith and obedience in front of Elisha. Elisha asked for and received a “double portion” of his spirit. The mentoring relationship multiplied prophetic impact across generations.  Look at the example: because Elijah refused to compete, Elisha had space and grace to grow into a prophetic ministry - which literally was double the impact of Elijah’s ministry. We talk a lot about the “double portion”, that’s a familiar phrase - but don’t overlook the fact that Elijah initiated this conversation and made space for Elisha’s request.

Elijah paved the way for Elisha’s ministry, and shares in the legacy created here.  That’s a win-win! That's ministry without competition.

Paul and Timothy – Spiritual Sonship

“For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus. But you know [Timothy’s] proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel” Philippians 2:21-22

Paul calls Timothy his “true son in the faith.” He discipled him, trained him in doctrine, entrusted him with leadership assignments, and encouraged him to be bold despite his youth (2 Timothy 1:2–6; 1 Corinthians 4:17; Philippians 2:19–22). Timothy carried on Paul’s work, not as a copy, but as a faithful leader shaped through intentional mentoring. In sending him to the Philippians, he gives such a powerful compliment and recommendation: “you know his proven character”. This didn’t take anything away from Paul - Paul’s ministry was so vast and so fruitful. Can you imagine if Paul did not refuse to compete?  Can you imagine if Paul insisted on doing all the work himself, in an effort to keep all the glory for himself? 

"Refuse to Compete" Mentality in Action

Careful, please….. “in an effort to keep all the glory for himself”.  Can you think of any other reason we would have to engage in competition with any of our brothers and sisters in Christ? We have to start living and operating as if John 10:10 is absolutely unequivocally true: “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”.  That means abundance for me, abundance for you, abundance for all of us - there is no lack in God.

Let’s circle back really quickly to Psalm 145:4 before we close up for today - “ “One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts”.  Shall  - we don’t have to look at that up in the Strong’s, do we?  It’s not a suggestion like “we could praise God’s works to the next generation” or an encouragement like “we should praise God’s works to the next generation”.  It’s a command - we shall. 

Unfortunately, we have a biblical example of a generation dropping the ball: “And there arose another generation after them who did not know the LORD nor the work which He had done for Israel" (Judges 2:10).  One generation shirked the responsibility and the very next generation did not know the Lord.  Okay, so for this blog that’s a rabbit trail - but it’s a great place to start next week! If you haven’t joined the mailing list yet, do that today! 

Mentoring builds unity and ends competition - and God’s kingdom is expanded exponentially!  Choose collaboration, choose mentorship, choose ministry without competition. That’s a treasure we can enjoy together!

Join me on the Connect Podcast on Youtube and let’s continue this conversation on Thursday! 

In the last few posts, we’ve talked about the power of lifting others up—through prayer, through encouragement, and through collaboration. All of these flow from a heart that values unity in the body of Christ. We’ve got one more obstacle we have to be on guard against if we’re going to walk in true unity: the spirit of competition. Nothing derails teamwork faster than rivalry, jealousy, or the need to “outdo” someone else.  You cannot compete with a member of your own team and win: we are in this together! You must refuse to compete within the Body of Christ.

Paul started encouraging the believers in this a long time ago, this is not a new concept at all. He wrote to the Corinthians, “There is one body, but it has many parts. But all its many parts make up one body. It is the same with Christ. We were all baptized by one Holy Spirit. And so we are formed into one body. It didn’t matter whether we were Jews or Gentiles, slaves or free people. We were all given the same Spirit to drink. So the body is not made up of just one part. It has many parts” (1 Cor. 12:12-14). 

He didn’t stop there - he went on to a rather lengthy explanation of what we probably consider an elementary concept: the body needs eyes, nose, ears, feet, hands - one cannot leave the body to work on its own and they all need each other for the body to work properly.  (I wonder if the Corinthians thought as they listened, “Really, Pastor?  I think we are beyond this!” - but Paul knew differently! They needed the lesson again - and so do we!)

Competition Steals Joy and Kills Collaboration: Refuse to Compete!

God’s call on your life is unique—you’re not running someone else’s race, you’re running your own. Let’s learn how to silence the voice of comparison, embrace our God-given assignments, and celebrate abundance in the body of Christ.

Competition often comes from insecurity and fear of losing what we think belongs to us. That’s what we have called “scarcity mentality” throughout this series (link here).  I’ll say it louder for the people in the back: there is no room for scarcity mentality in the Body of Christ! Please remember: in the Kingdom of God, there’s no scarcity—only abundance. The Bible gives us sobering examples of where jealousy and competition destroyed lives, relationships, and even nations.

Jealousy & Competition in Scripture: A Trail of Destruction

Saul and David

1 Samuel 18:7–9 – “As they danced, they sang: ‘Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.’ Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. ‘They have credited David with tens of thousands,’ he thought, ‘but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?’ And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David.”

• Saul’s jealousy of David turned celebration into suspicion.
• Instead of mentoring the next leader, Saul spent years trying to destroy him.
• Competition blinded Saul to the bigger picture—God’s kingdom was advancing.

David and Absalom

2 Samuel 15:6 – “Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel.”

• Absalom wasn’t content to support his father’s throne; he wanted it for himself.
• His ambition divided the kingdom, caused war, and ultimately led to his death.
• Competition drove him to manipulate people rather than serve them.

Mordecai and Haman

Esther 5:13 – “But all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king’s gate.”

• Haman had wealth, power, and influence, but envy consumed him.
• His jealousy led him to plan genocide against an entire people.
• Competition with Mordecai revealed the emptiness of his heart.

Warnings from Scripture About Envy & Jealousy

Grab your bible and your highlighter, here we go:

James 3:14–16 “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

• Jealousy is not a minor flaw; it opens the door to evil.
• It breeds chaos, division, and destruction.

Galatians 5:19–21 “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

• Paul puts jealousy and envy in the same list as idolatry and immorality.
• Competition is not harmless—it is a barrier to the Kingdom of God.

Proverbs 14:30 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

• Envy corrodes us from the inside out.
• Jealousy doesn’t just damage relationships—it destroys the person holding it.

Honestly, I can keep this up all day - let me stop there before I wear both of us out.  Thanks for staying with me!

Shifting the Lens: The Beauty of Collaboration & Teamwork

Not all stories end in rivalry—many show the fruit of unity and partnership. Where competition kills, collaboration brings life and multiplies impact. Look at the flip side with me: 

David and Jonathan

1 Samuel 18:3–4 – “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.”

• Jonathan could have seen David as a rival for the throne.
• Instead, he laid down his own claim to stand beside God’s chosen king.
• Collaboration in friendship preserved David’s life and secured Israel’s future.

Paul and Timothy

Philippians 2:19–22 – “I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare. For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.”

• Timothy wasn’t in competition with Paul—he served alongside him.
• Their collaboration was marked by mutual trust and shared mission.
• This partnership advanced the gospel across the world.

The Early Church

Acts 2:44–47 – “All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”

• Collaboration wasn’t optional—it was the way the church survived and thrived.
• Unity led to generosity, joy, and exponential growth.

Choosing Abundance over Competition

Competition, the scarcity mentality says: “There’s not enough room for both of us”, “If you are loved, it must be that I am unloved”, “if you are talented/successful, it must mean that I am not talented/succesful”, you see how the downward spiral goes. 

I want to return to Haman and Mordecai for a minute, this is such a powerful and sobering example of the scarcity mentality. Look at this:

“That day Haman was happy. So he left the palace in a good mood. Haman called together his friends and his wife Zeresh…. He bragged to them about how rich he was. He talked about how many sons he had. He spoke about all the ways the king had honored him. He bragged about how the king had given him a high position. It was higher than the position of any of the other nobles and officials. “And that’s not all,” Haman added. “I’m the only person Queen Esther invited to come with the king to the feast she gave. Now she has invited me along with the king tomorrow. But even all of that doesn’t satisfy me. I won’t be satisfied as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the palace gate.” Esther 5:9, 11-13

Don’t miss this: Haman recognizes that Mordecai’s presence has absolutely nothing to do with him.  Even when Mordecai was honored, there was no loss or demotion to Haman in any way.  Somehow, the enemy twisted it in his mind - he adopted an imaginary offense and a scarcity mentality.  Being afraid that he had risen as far as he could go, he decided that the only option was to kick others down in order to make himself look good. Read this book (the Bible) or this book (my commentary on Esther), the scarcity mentality will bring you down.

Teamwork says: “There’s more than enough in the Kingdom of God.” Refusing to compete puts us in line with  Christ’s promise of an abundant life in John 10:10, :I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”. Envy robs us, but unity multiplies blessing. 

Is there someone else in your field? Rejoice because more work is being done!  Is another minister preaching the Word?  Was your church preaching the Word while the church parking lot down the street was also full?  Celebrate that neighbor pastor - Jesus is being glorified! If your co-laborer is winning, friend, guess what?  You are winning too!  

Lay down competition, refuse to participate in jealousy. When we work together, we activate God’s abundance - and receiving His promise, actually living the abundant life that Jesus promises is a treasure that you won’t want to let go!

Let's continue the conversation on the podcast this Thursday! Subscribe at https://www.youtube.com/@JenniferWSpivey so you don't miss it!

For those of you who know me, you know that spiritual friendship and healthy relationships in leadership is something that I invest in (check out my series on God-given friendships on my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@JenniferWSpivey/playlists). Perhaps through the years, due to those investments, the Lord has had those people in place for me - right people at the right time. Every time I’ve had a change of season, the Lord has blessed me with champions and cheerleaders who were there to encourage me, there to speak life into what God was doing in me.  In turn, I hope I’ve taken every opportunity for speaking life into those God placed in my path as well!

In this season in particular, the Lord has given me practical ways to encourage and speak life into others. I’ve been hosting “work days” around my dining room table and in corners of local coffee shops.  (I need a new name - “work day” makes me think of picking weeds or cleaning out closets at the church. Anyone else remember church work days?).  It’s been so much fun - creating pathways for others to get started doing what they feel like the Lord is calling them to.  It makes me think of Zechariah 4:10 which says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin”. If God is rejoicing/speaking life, I want to rejoice with Him - and be an impetus  for a beginning if I can be!

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So….  lately, I’ve been skipping the history lesson, but let’s have it today just for fun!  (I’m pretending that the history lesson is fun for you, too - just roll with me and I’ll make it short, LOL!):

History Lesson Behind Speaking Life 🙂

You need to know three things: 

1. Who is Zerubbabel? Zerubbabel was the governor of Judah, and he was tasked with rebuilding the Temple after the Babylonian exile (Ezra 3–6, Haggai 1–2).  At the moment Zechariah is prophesying here, the project had been stalled for years due to opposition and limited resources - the people were discouraged.  To see Zerubbabel with the plumb line in his hand was a visible sign that work was beginning again.
2. What is a plumb line? A plumb line is a simple but ancient tool: a cord with a weight at the bottom. Builders used it to establish a true vertical line. By holding it against a wall or structure, they could see if it was straight or leaning. It ensured accuracy and alignment in construction.
3. Why is this important in Zechariah 4? The plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand is significant because seeing Zerubbabel with the plumb line in hand was a visible sign that work was beginning again.

So when Zechariah says “the Lord rejoices to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand”, he is essentially saying: “God is not only going to be pleased with the finished temple, He is rejoicing TODAY at the beginning!”

Can we take this a little step further?  This is just getting good! Hang with me!   

The plumb line wasn’t the first step, the very first step was laying the foundation which had already been done years ago (Ezra 3:10–13). Seeing Zerubbabel raise the plumb line represents a fresh start in rebuilding. Using a plumb line is physically easy, but taking up the plumb line meant choosing to believe again, to press forward against opposition, small numbers, and the memory of Solomon’s grand temple. To use less words: THIS IS BIG! That’s why God tells them “Do not despise these small beginnings.”

The hardest part wasn’t holding the tool—it was mustering the faith, courage, and persistence to start again, trusting that God would bring the work to completion. While the tool itself was simple, the act of picking it up represented a huge step of faith in the face of discouragement.

Okay, are you still with me? Back to the day of small beginnings and speaking life into those in your sphere of influence: 

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Practical Ways of Speaking Life

I’ve had fun around my dining room table or in corners of coffee shops, speaking life into the fresh visions of others.  Want to start a podcast?  I can help you with that!  Want to start a YouTube channel?  Let’s talk!  Want to blog?  I’m excited to help!  It’s a tribute and a passing it forward at the same time: I remember when someone taught me to do these things and more (that was a short list!) and now I’m excited to teach someone else.  Let’s all win! The Lord rejoices to see a work begin - and I do too! As you are mustering the courage to raise the plumb line, to begin, I am cheering you on!

Someone reached out to me recently - “Can you share what you are doing?” Sure I can!  This isn’t me inviting them into a space I own.  This isn’t me creating competition for myself.  This isn’t even me inviting them to join “my” team - if anything, I’m inviting them to join the Lord’s team!  This isn’t mine!  No matter how many women I am privileged to speak into, there’s MORE.  We’re talking about the difference between incremental growth and exponential growth. 

Lots of ways to speak lie and encourage those around you - start with the easiest: leave a comment, “like” or even “love”, share a post. Write a note, send a text, make a phone call. 

Biblical Example of Speaking Life

This wasn’t ever my idea, anyway.  Once again, Jesus directed us first, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).  

Jesus was not afraid of competition, He had no scarcity mentality.  Know what else He said? He said, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these” (John 14:12). He spoke LIFE into the disciples and by extension into us: “Go and make disciples who will then in turn also go and make disciples.  You think these things I’ve done are great?  You’re going to do even greater things than this!” Talk about speaking life, wow! Jesus invites us into His space to do even more than He did!

Speak life into the ministry of others - there is no competition here!  Promoting the work of the Lord will activate abundance in your own life! If God is rejoicing, isn’t that all the encouragement we need to rejoice as well? 

Here’s another thing about speaking life, raising that plumb line, beginning: whatever the Lord gives to you is really meant for the Body of Christ.  Truth is His.  Glory is His. Influence is His.  If the Lord has given something to you, He has also given it for the expansion of the Kingdom. You have an insight? Share it. You have a skill set? Share it. You have an encouraging word? Share it. This is not only for you!  What would happen if we kept the good things of the Lord to ourselves, for ourselves?  Yikes.  I won’t go down that rabbit trail - but I’d invite you to do that on your own for a minute.  If the Lord gave it to you, He’s giving it to you to share with those around you.

Thinking back again to Peter inviting the other fishermen to help with the catch (Luke 5), thinking about Jesus who encourages us that we’ll do greater works than He did (John 14).... Thinking back to my childhood pastor telling me, “what you make happen for others, God will make happen for you”, let’s take the opportunity to champion the work of the Lord wherever we see it happen!  

When you see someone “raise the plumb line”, remember the day that you made that seemingly small step yourself - cheer them on! Speaking life into others will activate abundance in your own life - and that’s a treasure!  

Join me on Thursday - let's continue the conversation on the podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@JenniferWSpivey and thanks for joining me on the blog today!

Competition has no place in the Kingdom of God. It’s not a principle of Heaven, and it’s certainly not the posture of a heart that understands who God is and what He’s building.

When I spent weeks blogging and podcasting about seasons of transition, I kept returning to this principle: whether you are the incoming leader or the outgoing leader, you are not the comparison—you are the cheerleader. However, this principle applies to every single person in the body of Christ. If you are serving Jesus, you are serving the Body - not creating competition within it.

Think about what comparison does. It isolates. It fuels insecurity. It says, “If you succeed, there’s less for me.” Let me remind you, friend: that is a lie straight from the enemy. God is not limited. Someone else’s blessing does not diminish your portion. If anything, it should remind you of the greatness of the Giver. There is no place for a scarcity mentality here.

When we forget this, we start comparing, striving, and even resenting what God is doing in someone else. There's some red flags there, so hold up - Scripture reminds us over and over that we are one body. A hand should not work against another hand. An elbow should not oppose an eyeball. A shoulder should not trip up a toe. Each part matters. Each part plays a role. The body can only function properly when each part works together in unity.

Cheerleaders, on the other hand, celebrate progress and victory—whether or not they are the ones holding the trophy. They wave the banner of encouragement, not envy. They make noise for someone else’s moment, knowing that when one part of the body thrives, the entire body benefits.

Luke 5 paints this picture beautifully. When Jesus told Peter to put his nets back into the water after an exhausting, fishless night (is fishless a word? you get me!), the catch was so large that the nets began to break. What was Peter’s first reaction? Did he say, “I’ve got to keep this all to myself”? No. Scripture says he signaled for his partners in the other boat to come and help (Luke 5:6-7).

What God was doing for Peter was not just about Peter. It was about blessing others. It was about enlarging the circle of provision and letting the miracle overflow into other people’s boats.

That is how Kingdom success works. It’s never all about you. If God has given you a gift, a platform, or an opportunity, He’s given it not just to you—but through you—for the body of Christ. When someone else in ministry receives a breakthrough, launches a new program, publishes a book, grows their platform, or leads someone to Christ, it is not a threat to you. It is a reason to celebrate!

We live in a culture that often measures value by visibility and success by numbers. But Kingdom work isn’t measured that way. When one church thrives, the Kingdom advances. When another leader has a fruitful season, heaven rejoices. When heaven rejoices, that;'s our cue to rejoice as well!

Paul makes this clear in Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This is not a suggestion—it is a command. A Christlike posture sees another’s success and says, “Thank You, Lord, for what You are doing in them—and through them—for all of us.”

Psalm 84 gives us another glimpse of God’s design for His people: “They go from strength to strength; till each appears before God in Zion” (v. 7). Notice the wording: they go—not he or she, but they. The psalmist is painting a picture of a people on pilgrimage together, drawing strength not just from God, but from one another, until every single one of them reaches the destination.

When I imagine standing before the Lord at the end of my race, I don’t want to come empty-handed or with a spirit of rivalry. I want to arrive arm in arm, hand in hand, raising up my brothers and sisters, celebrating what God has done in all of us. I want to know that I spent my life building others up—not tearing them down, not comparing, not competing—but cheering until the very end.

The beautiful truth about following Christ is that this is not a race where only one person wins. There are no podiums in heaven—only crowns laid at the feet of Jesus. We are all running toward the same finish line, all pursuing the same glory—His glory.

Friend, refuse to engage in competition within the body of Christ. Let’s cheer one another on with every ounce of faith and joy we have. When we finally stand before the Lord, my prayer is that we'll be together—arm in arm, hand in hand—celebrating the goodness of God in all of us. Truth belongs to the Lord. Every gift, calling, or opportunity He places in our hands is not for our glory, but for the benefit of the body of Christ - and when we share joyfully, we share a treasure! <3

Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

That little verse holds a very big idea. Paul is telling us that when we bear one another’s burdens—when we show love in tangible, practical ways—we are actually fulfilling the law of Christ. What law? The law that Jesus Himself gave us: to love one another, and to be known by that love.

It’s one thing to talk about love, but Paul takes it a step further. He reminds us to put feet on it. Love isn’t only a feeling; it’s an action. Bearing one another’s burdens means praying for each other, lifting each other up, helping each other, and taking action to care for one another in real and practical ways.

For me, this verse is both a comfort and a conviction.

This verse comforts me because it reminds me that I am not alone. If you’ve been with me for any length of time, you know how important relationships are to me. Of course, my relationship with Jesus comes first—but investing in spiritual friendships matters to me as well. This verse reassures me that community is part of God’s design. We weren’t made to walk through life alone.

This verse convicts me because it reminds me that bearing one another’s burdens goes both ways: it means that I share your burdens and also that you share mine.

The first part—helping others—that comes naturally to me. I’m honored to pray for someone, to encourage, to step in and help however I can. But the second part—the part where I’m the one who shares my burdens—doesn’t come as easily.

Can I be vulnerable with you? Somewhere along the way, I picked up a lie: “If I’m not perfect, you won’t love me.” Because of that lie, sharing my own burdens sometimes feels risky. What if I’m rejected? What if people see my weakness and step back instead of leaning in? Maybe you can relate?

The truth is, it’s hard to let others see the places where we’re weak - but if we keep everything inside, we’re missing the fullness of what God designed community to be. (I’m not suggesting that you tell everybody everything. That wouldn’t be wise. We need to use discernment and listen to the Holy Spirit about what to share and with whom. But keeping everything to ourselves isn’t wisdom either).

One of my favorite verses that reminds me of this truth is Psalm 103:14: “The Lord knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.” God knows our weaknesses. He knows our limits. Still, in His kindness, He placed us in families, in communities, and in relationships with one another so that no one has to walk alone.

Sometimes we forget that perfection was never the expectation. Yes, some people may wrongly expect it, but God never does. He sees our weaknesses, and instead of rejecting us, He meets us with compassion. That’s the same heart we should have toward one another: grace, love, and a judgment-free space where burdens can be shared.

Isaiah 40:11 gives us a beautiful picture of how God deals with us: “He shall feed His flock like a shepherd; He shall gather the lambs with His arm, carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.”

What a picture of gentleness. Our Shepherd doesn’t deal harshly with us. He carries us close to His heart. He leads us with tenderness. He loves us when we’re strong and when we’re weak, when we get it right and when we get it wrong. Friend, He delights in you. On your best days and on your worst days, you are a delight to the Lord.

When we live in that freedom—resting in His love—we can extend the same freedom to others. We can walk in grace toward one another, allowing our community to be a safe place where burdens can be shared.

John 3:16 is a verse many of us learned as children: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.”

But we often forget to read the very next verse: “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him” (John 3:17).

Our salvation is a free gift. It’s not something we can earn, and it’s not something we can lose by not being “perfect enough.” There is no condemnation in Christ.

If that’s true, then our communities should reflect the same freedom. Bearing one another’s burdens should never come with fear or judgment. You should be able to come to me without fear, and I should be able to come to you without fear—because we’re not trying to meet an impossible standard. We’re simply living as beloved children of God.

If you serve in ministry—a pastor’s wife, pastor, small group leader, Bible study teacher—this can feel even harder. There’s a real (or sometimes imagined) pressure to appear perfect in front of those you serve. I’ve felt that too.

Let me encourage you: don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Don’t carry the weight of perfection on your shoulders. As you bear the burdens of others, also allow others to bear yours. That’s not weakness—it’s obedience.

When we do this, letting this burden sharing happen on both sides, we’re not just helping each other. We’re fulfilling the law of Christ. Let’s be the kind of people who carry each other’s burdens. Let’s create spaces where it’s safe to be honest, where grace and love flow freely, and where no one has to fear rejection.

We don’t have to be perfect to be loved—by God or by each other. And when we live that way, we fulfill the very law of Christ: to love one another as He has loved us. What a treasure that is! <3

Spiritual friendship is not just “nice to have” in the Christian life—it’s essential.

"Two are better than one... If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10

Have you ever hesitated to reach out to someone, afraid of being rejected or misunderstood? Maybe you saw someone at church who looked a little lonely, or a mom at the park who seemed like she might want a chat. You thought, “I should go say something”, but then quickly talked yourself out of it…. Let’s be honest—friendship on its own can feel risky, but being the one to make the effort ups the risk for sure. 

Let’s start with the obvious: initiating friendship feels vulnerable. You don’t know how you’ll be received. You risk feeling awkward, ignored, or even rejected. In our social-media-saturated world, it’s easy to stay in our own bubble, where we scroll, like, and comment without ever truly engaging.

From the beginning, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). While that verse speaks to marriage, the principle really is broader. We are created for connection. Scripture is full of examples of deep, godly friendships: David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Paul and Timothy, Jesus and His disciples.

Still, we hesitate.

We tell ourselves lies like:

• She probably has enough friends already.
• What if she thinks I’m too much?
• I don’t want to come across as needy.
• I’ve been burned before—I’m not doing that again.

All of those fears are valid—but fear doesn’t get to have the final say. When it comes to godly friendship, the return on investment is greater than we can imagine. God's best for you happens in community; it's the enemy of your soul who wants you in isolation.

Jesus Himself modeled what it means to initiate relationship - we talked about this on the blog a few weeks ago.  Check it out here if you missed it!

Jesus invited Himself over. Jesus made the first move. If the Son of God was willing to reach across social barriers, awkward situations, and the opinions of others to extend friendship, shouldn’t we be willing to do the same? The truth is, anything worthwhile involves some level of risk, and that includes friendship.

Friendship doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not something we stumble into—it’s something we choose to build. Like any investment, it requires intentionality, time, and sacrifice.

I loved morning car rides with my children on the way to school when they were small many years ago. There were a couple of verses that were on the usual rotation, and one that was repeated often was Proverbs 18:24. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” That’s not just a cute quote—it’s a reminder that friendships grow when we’re willing to plant seeds.  

Sometimes those seeds look like:

• Sending the first text.
• Asking someone to grab coffee.
• Sitting next to someone new at church.
• Starting a conversation, even when you feel awkward.

Prepare yourself: not every seed grows into a deep friendship. Some fade. Some were only meant for a season. However, some grow roots so deep that they strengthen your faith, bring you joy, and sharpen you into the person God is calling you to be. Those kinds of roots bring forth good fruit, friends who will:

• Speak truth when we’re tempted to believe lies
• Pray for us when we don’t have the words
• Celebrate our victories and mourn our losses
• Keep us accountable and point us back to Christ
• Lift us up when we feel down

That kind of friendship doesn’t just happen. It starts with someone being brave enough to go first.

Here’s the thing: you’re not the only one longing for connection. That woman you keep thinking about inviting to coffee? She might be praying for someone like you. The young mom sitting by herself at small group? She may be hoping someone notices her.

Someone is waiting for you to be bold. Not perfect. Just willing.

This week, take a step toward friendship. Plant the seeds. Show yourself friendly.

• Send the text. 
• Invite the person. 
• Sit next to someone new. 
• Smile first. 
• Speak up. 
• Be the one who reaches out.

Are you nervous or unsure? That's okay, don't let those feelings stop you. Friendship built on faith, truth, and love is worth every bit of risk and effort. Remember that Jesus made the first move toward us. He came close. He extended His hand. Let’s follow His lead.

Godly friendship is a treasure - but many times you have to make an effort to enjoy it's benefits!

p.s. I’m continuing this discussion on the podcast this week! New episode will drop on Thursday. Subscribe on Youtube, Spotify or Apple Podcasts this week so we can connect again! Here’s the link tree so we can connect!