Rule of Life: The Simple Habit That Brings Peace

Have you ever looked at your calendar at the end of a busy week and wondered, “Where did the time go?”

You worked hard. You cared for the people around you. You answered the messages, completed the tasks, showed up where you needed to be, and handled the responsibilities in front of you. You did all the things and you did it well.

But somewhere along the way, you may have wondered: Am I making space for what matters most?

Many of us desire a deeper relationship with God. We want to spend time in His Word, grow in prayer, care well for our families, invest in meaningful relationships, and live with purpose. But good intentions alone don’t always create lasting change.

The reality is this: our lives are shaped by our rhythms.

What Is a Rule of Life?

A Rule of Life is an intentional plan for ordering our lives around what matters most.

Simply put, a rule of life is a way of making space and time for the things we have prayerfully determined are valuable. It helps us intentionally center our lives around Christ rather than allowing our days to be shaped only by demands, distractions, and circumstances.

The word “rule” can sometimes make us think of restrictions or requirements, but a Rule of Life is not about creating a list of religious obligations. It is about creating a pattern. It is about asking: How can I organize my life in a way that helps me remain connected to Jesus?

The truth is, every one of us already has a “rule of life” whether or not we intentionally wrote it down or planned it out: our calendar.

Our calendars reveal what we value. The things we consistently make time for—our work, relationships, hobbies, commitments, rest, and routines—show what has priority in our lives. Our time must be budgeted just like our finances (I blogged about that here).

The question is not whether we have rhythms. The question is: Are our rhythms helping us become the people God created us to be?

The Problem With Unintentional Rhythms

When we don’t intentionally consider how we are living, it is easy to become overwhelmed. Our schedules fill up. Our responsibilities multiply. Our attention becomes divided. Before we know it, we can find ourselves feeling:

Scattered: Our schedule is full, but it doesn’t always reflect our purpose or priorities.

Hurried: We are constantly busy, but unsure what needs to change.

Reactive: We spend our days responding to everyone else’s needs instead of living with intention.

Exhausted: We reach the end of the day wondering if we spent our time well.

This is not the life most of us desire, but it can happen so easily. A Rule of Life gives us an opportunity to pause and prayerfully consider:

What has God entrusted to me in this season?

What rhythms help me stay close to Him?

What needs to be adjusted so I can live with greater purpose and peace?

Centering Our Lives Around Christ

The goal of a Rule of Life is not about a perfectly organized schedule. The goal is a life that remains connected to Jesus.

Jesus said: “Abide in Me, and I in you… for without Me you can do nothing" (John 15:4-5). Everything flows from abiding.

A Rule of Life helps us create space for that abiding relationship. It reminds us that ordinary moments can be offered to God. Laundry can be done for His glory. Work can be done for His glory. Caring for our families can be done for His glory.

And yes, even rest can be received as a gift from Him.

Prayer, Scripture, worship, relationships, and even the everyday responsibilities of life can all become opportunities to walk closely with Christ.

A Personal Testimony: God Really Did Mean Exodus 20:8-11

On a personal note, my first attempt at developing a Rule of Life was prompted by an important—and glaring—omission in my busy schedule: I wasn’t practicing a weekly Sabbath.

Perhaps this is one of the most overlooked of the Ten Commandments. It seems like an easy one to skip, doesn’t it?

I certainly found plenty of ways to justify it. After all, I was busy serving God and His people. As a pastor’s wife, Sundays were spent serving my church, so they certainly weren’t a day of rest. Between ministry, full-time work, and family responsibilities, I didn’t see where I could possibly find another 24 hours to set aside.

I also had some misconceptions about Sabbath. I assumed it had to be on Sunday, and I thought it meant spending 24 hours doing little more than sleeping or reading my Bible.

I was mistaken on both counts.

While many Christians observe Sabbath on Sunday, the biblical principle is to set apart a regular day each week for rest and worship. For me, that day became Friday evening through Saturday evening.

I also discovered that Sabbath wasn’t about doing nothing. It was about intentionally receiving God’s gift of rest. It became 24 hours of inviting Jesus into activities that restored my soul and reminded me that my worth isn’t found in my productivity.

Here’s where my Rule of Life made all the difference.

When I prayerfully looked at my calendar, I realized I had made commitments that left no room for Sabbath. If I wanted to obey God’s invitation to rest, something had to change. Some commitments needed to be rearranged, and others needed to be released altogether.

It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually I established a rhythm of Sabbath from Friday dinner until Saturday dinner. It has become one of the greatest gifts God has given me.

So what does Sabbath look like for me?

Sometimes it’s dinner with my husband. Sometimes it’s coffee with a genuine friend—with no hidden agenda or ministry meeting disguised as fellowship. I sleep in, walk my pup, browse my favorite shops, ride my bike, read a good book, or enjoy an afternoon nap. These simple activities restore my soul, fill my heart with gratitude, and remind me that God designed rest as a gift, not a reward.

My Rule of Life helped me make space for what matters most. It also gave me the freedom to offer my best yes—and, when necessary, my best no—without guilt.

God really was serious about the Sabbath commandment (Exodus 20:8–11). But His command wasn’t meant to burden us; it was given because He knew we would need the gift of rest.

Developing a Rule of Life helped me receive that gift. It continues to create space not only for Sabbath, but also for the other priorities God has entrusted to me. Those intentional rhythms have brought greater peace, healthier boundaries, and a deeper awareness of His presence in my everyday life.

A Rule of Life Is About Faithfulness, Not Perfection

One of the most important things to remember is that a Rule of Life is not about becoming more disciplined so God will love us more. God’s love is already secure.

Instead, a Rule of Life helps us respond to His love by intentionally creating space for Him.

It is not about adding more pressure to an already full life. It is about making room for what gives life. It is about recognizing that every yes requires a no, and prayerfully choosing where we want to invest our limited time, energy, and attention.

Begin With One Small Step

Developing intentional rhythms does not require completely changing your life overnight. Small steps matter.

You might begin by asking:

• What helps me feel connected to God?
• What rhythms bring life and renewal?
• Where do I feel most distracted or depleted?
• What is one small change I can make to create more space for Jesus?

God is not asking you to become someone else. He is inviting you to walk with Him more intentionally in the life and season He has given you.

A Rule of Life is simply a way of saying: “Lord, I want my days to reflect what matters most.”

If you are ready to go deeper and create intentional spiritual rhythms that fit your season of life, I invite you to explore the Developing a Rule of Life e-course inside Connect Mentoring Network. Together, we’ll walk through practical steps to prayerfully build rhythms that help you stay centered in Christ.

Let’s continue this conversation on the podcast this Thursday - subscribe here so you don’t miss an episode! Thanks for reading today and I’m excited to connect with you again soon!